Guy on cell, sighing: What are you gonna do, y’know? I mean, besides putting a flashlight in your vagina… Too bad.
–Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: TK
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
Immigrants: The New El Nino.
Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It's mad hot out, you deported Dominican.
–Bergen Beach, New York
Overheard by: its not THAT hot out
Tonight's Movie: She Cloned Hitler
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle?
–Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
This Is Where You Realize That's What I've Always Been
Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ilyse
I May Never Go Home Again
Young male Australian tourist on cell: We've already been to a service station and a McDonald's, which is different.
–Rotorua, New Zealand
Overheard by: exactly how different to McDonald's in Australia?
How You Know That Phrase Has Officially Peaked
Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!”
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That's what she said.
–Balboa, California
I Think I've Seen This Vin Diesel Family Comedy…
Postman on cell: Yeah, I'm not a street gangsta–but I'm a gangsta in the house. I hold that shit down. Anybody can be all tough in the streets, but me, I got the house on lock.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
…Since, Technically, It's Thesis Research.
Blonde girl on cell: That's not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn't care.
–Los Angeles, California
…Then It's Not Real Fast Food.
Teen girl on cell: It doesn't have feces in it?
–Malibu, California
The Ringside Judges Have Me Ahead on Points
Man on cell: Yeah, Paul* and I aren't friends anymore. He used my credit card and owes me $4000. Plus, it probably doesn't help that I've been having sex with his mom… repeatedly.
–Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Amused Passenger