Guy on cell: When the freeway ends, turn left…Yes, the freeway ends.…Because the continent ends, dipshit.
–Hermosa Beach, California
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
Tonight’s Movie: She Cloned Hitler
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle?
–Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
…Since, Technically, It’s Thesis Research.
Blonde girl on cell: That’s not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn’t care.
–Los Angeles, California
Um, All I Asked Was, “Are You Happy with Your Long-Distance Carrier?”
Attractive female on cell: No, that’s sexual harassment.
–Lorne, Australia
Just Brain Cells? Whew!
Guy on cell: Did you just say you killed somebody?!
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Overheard by: gavin
On Jerry Springer It’s Never Out
Girl on cell: Don’t be worried! Incest is totally in this season.
–Tampa, Florida
A New Dimension to the Walk of Shame
Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I’m leaving before he sees the blood.
–Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota
Overheard by: buddy
Note to Self: Steal Dog, Feed to Sharks
Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you’re at work and she laughs.
–Tamarama Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
I Just Said It Would Make Me Happy
Man on cell: Well, I didn’t explicitly tell him to kill himself…
–Santa Cruz Boardwalk, California
No Longer My Favorite Sacrament
Dude on cell: I don’t think the marriage thing is going to work… Why? Because I’m already married!
–Smith Point, Long Island, New York
