Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!“
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That’s what she said.
–Balboa, California
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
Immigrants: The New El Nino.
Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It’s mad hot out, you deported Dominican.
–Bergen Beach, New York
Overheard by: its not THAT hot out
His Wife Split with It
Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?
–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii
They Pump in The “Surf” White Noise To Mute Conversations
Girl on cell: Mom, I can’t talk right now, I’m in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can’t talk, I’m studying.
–Blemar Beach, New Jersey
…According to Fun Facts About Body Hair Quarterly
Guy on cell: It’s not gay if you use tweezers.
–Tampa, Florida
How the High-Five Originally Developed
Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
She Ain’t a Lady Either
Woman on phone: It’s been so long since I have gone out on a date, I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be a woman.
4‑Year-Old son, indignantly: You ain’t a woman! You’re my mother!
–Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Catherine
The Traffic Lets Up, But Breathing Becomes Difficult
Guy on cell: When the freeway ends, turn left…Yes, the freeway ends.…Because the continent ends, dipshit.
–Hermosa Beach, California
Tonight’s Movie: She Cloned Hitler
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle?
–Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
…Since, Technically, It’s Thesis Research.
Blonde girl on cell: That’s not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn’t care.
–Los Angeles, California
