Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ilyse
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
Yeah, I’ll Hold
Fat guy on cell: I’m not interested. Throw my food at the dog.
–Rhyl, Wales
Overheard by: Jake
Seagulls? Yeah, I’m in Canarsie
Weasel on cell: I’m in Brooklyn now, so it will have to wait until later…
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Local
Story Of My Life, Ma’am.
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven’t gone to mass in like, forever!
–Tampa, Florida
And What Exactly Do You Sell Again?
Man, answering phone: Talbot Street Watersports, how may I help you?
Customer: Oh, what street are you on?
Man: Still on Talbot Street.
Customer: Oh, good… I was just checking.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: OC Rocket
I’ve Tried Walking It Off Without Success
Guy on cell: I don’t know, it may just be the chlamydia talking, though.
–Destin, Florida
Actually, It Was a Great Party!
20-something girl on cell: The baby-changing room?! That’s horrid!
–Interislander Ferry, New Zealand
Overheard by: Sally
I’ve Also Decided I’m an Elderly Asian Woman This Week
Guy on cell: Yes, I’m on the beach. I told you, I’m in the Caribbean this week.
–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: debbie downer
… Hello? … Hello?
Dude on cell: So, how did that thing with the executioner go?
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Russ
Our Only Option Is Pit-Scissoring
Girl on phone: Did you go to my car yet? (pause) Shit, I wanted you to grab my deodorant. (pause) You have deodorant? (disgusted pause) I’m not going to use deodorant you just scraped off yourself!
–Coney Island, New York
