Conservative mom on cell: Julia, you just can’t bring your kids here and let them swim naked… What? Yes, Julia, it’s illegal.
–51st Street, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Unexpecting Beach Reader
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
And What Exactly Do You Sell Again?
Man, answering phone: Talbot Street Watersports, how may I help you?
Customer: Oh, what street are you on?
Man: Still on Talbot Street.
Customer: Oh, good… I was just checking.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: OC Rocket
…According to Fun Facts About Body Hair Quarterly
Guy on cell: It's not gay if you use tweezers.
–Tampa, Florida
Happens Every Time She Watches The O'Reilly Factor
Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
They Pump in The "Surf" White Noise To Mute Conversations
Girl on cell: Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can't talk, I'm studying.
–Blemar Beach, New Jersey
Unless You're Monty Python
Dude on cell: Falling in love with me and sitting on my face are two completely different things.
–Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Matyis
…With an Expandable Panel in Front.
Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing
Fast and the Furious 4: Barnyard Slide
Chick on cell: Yeah, we got a ticket for going 80 miles per hour on the way here, though. Wanna know why? We were trying to catch up to a giant truck full of chickens!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
… Hello? … Hello?
Dude on cell: So, how did that thing with the executioner go?
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Russ
No Longer My Favorite Sacrament
Dude on cell: I don’t think the marriage thing is going to work… Why? Because I’m already married!
–Smith Point, Long Island, New York