Hobo, singing among crowd of people: Jingle bells, jingle bells, help me get drunk!
–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Just a Midwestern girl who's new in LA
Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category
And That's How Johnny Cash Got the Idea for 'Delia's Gone'
Little sister: Bury me! Bury me!
Big brother: No, I can’t marry you. That’d be disgusting.
Little sister: BURY me!
Big brother: No, no, I can’t marry you! Stop it!
Little sister: I said BURY me, stupid!
–Orchard Beach, New York
Overheard by: Anais Borg-Marks
It Has Its Hands Full Warming the Globe
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
His Class Voted Him Most Likely to Miss the Point
Mom whispering to little boy: Go in the water where nobody can see.
Little boy digs a hole, fills it with water, and pees.
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nick
Look, Mom, I'll Trade You For the Shot of You With the Pool Boy
A dog is humping a newlywed’s leg.
Mother-in-Law: Oh my God, don’t move. I have to get a picture of that!
Son-in-Law: Um…
Mother-in-Law: Okay, I’ve got the camera. Hump away, Curley!
–Lake Superior
Is It My Turn to Talk?
Old fisherman: Don't be tanglin' your lines up with mine, son!
Younger fisherman: You want a beer?
Old fisherman: I saw a UFO fly right under that bridge one time.
Younger fisherman: You need a haircut.
–Creaky Dock, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
There's a Pipe Leading Directly from the Urinal to the Water
Girl: Oh my God! This water is really cold, can you turn the heater up?
Lifeguard, returning from locker room: There you go, it should be better now.
Girl: Hey, this really does feel warmer. Thanks, lifeguard!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
Australian Life, Encapsulated
Girl #1, in shade: Wanna go down to the water?
Girl #2: Sure!
Girl #2, in water: Wanna go back to the tree?
Girl #1: Yeah. I do.
–Sydney, Australia
Who Says Science Can't Be Fun?
Little girl voice: Get a flame thrower! (a few minutes later) Firegirl gets iced!
–Oceanside, California
Overheard by: What goes on in my neighborhood?
Let Me Guess– Whitney Houston Costume?
Teen to promoter throwing Halloween candy: Bitch, gimme somma dem fuckin' dots!
–West Palm Beach, Florida