Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category

At the “That’s What She Said” Quar­ter­fi­nals

Mid-twen­ties gal: (shows bot­tle of sun­screen) Hey, hon, will you cream me?
Mid-twen­ties guy: (snick­ers)
Mid-twen­ties gal: What? Oh, god. You’re sick.
(guy rubs the sun­screen on her back)
Mid-twen­ties guy: Can you get the rest your­self?
Mid-twen­ties gal: Yeah, I’ll just fin­ish my­self off.
Mid-twen­ties guy: (snick­ers)
Mid-twen­ties gal: Oh, shut-up!

–St. Paul, Min­neso­ta

Your Ed­i­tors Have Paid Ex­tra for Tit­ty Gum– True Sto­ry

Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
An­noy­ing girl: Yeah, I do… You can’t have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don’t want that! It’s tit­ty gum.
An­noy­ing girl: It’s not tit­ty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your tit­ties?
Brunette girl, look­ing down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!