World’s best wife: Honey, twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: Huh? No, it’s not. It’s two-thirty.
World’s best wife: I mean twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: I don’t get you.
World’s best wife: Look straight ahead.
Clueless husband: Why?
World’s best wife: Look at the hot chick right in front of you! Look! Look!
Clueless husband: Oh!…Niiice.
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Frat boy to others: Duuuuuude, let’s go in the brocean!
–New Jersey
Overheard by: Jersey Girl
Guy: Okay, first person to find a used condom wins a prize!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]
–South Beach Florida
Homeless man, frolicking in large waves: Do it again, Poseidon!!
–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Daryl
Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I’m cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Sister: Would you like to see some sea life?
Brother, pointing at three women sunbathing topless: Eww, this isn’t Europe!
Sister: Eli, just look away.
–Rockway Beach, NY
“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York
Girl #1: Can you stop touching your junk in front of me?
Boy: I’m not touching my junk!
Girl #2: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I’m not touching my junk!
Girl #1: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I’m not touching my junk!
Girl #3: Can we touch each other’s junk?
Boy, girl #1 and #2: What?
–Deerfield Beach
Florida
Hobo to group of girls holding a balloon: Hey! That balloon be blue. My name is blue. Gimme a dollar.
–Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Brittaney
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
