Homeless man, frolicking in large waves: Do it again, Poseidon!!
–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Daryl
Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category
I'll Just Throw a Virgin Into the Volcano, Ma'am
Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I'm cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
And When We Get Home, Wash Your Eyes
Sister: Would you like to see some sea life?
Brother, pointing at three women sunbathing topless: Eww, this isn’t Europe!
Sister: Eli, just look away.
–Rockway Beach, NY
Faster Than a Golden Calf. Stronger Than All 12 Plagues…
“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York
Well, It Seems Like the Appropriate Thing to Do.
Girl #1: Can you stop touching your junk in front of me?
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #2: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #1: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #3: Can we touch each other's junk?
Boy, girl #1 and #2: What?
–Deerfield Beach
Florida
Only Novice Hoboes Think Panhandling's About Logic
Hobo to group of girls holding a balloon: Hey! That balloon be blue. My name is blue. Gimme a dollar.
–Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Brittaney
Idiots Are Generally Immune to Sarcasm
American girl #1: So, did you bring the book?
American girl #2: What book?
American girl #1: The book.
American girl #2: Ohh… Ant farm?
American girl #1: No. The bible. Fucking idiot.
–Aix en Provence, France
Overheard by: Ant Farm pretty much IS the Bible
Well Can I at Least Kick My Brother?
Little girl: Daddy, can I kick the birds?
Dad: No.
Little girl: Why not?
Dad: Birds are nice!
–Santa Monica, California
I Love a Girl Who Can Handle Her Balls
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Oh, It's Already Been Bratwurst!
Unshaven surfer on cell: No, no, no! Do you want me to bring Schnitzel?
–Bondi Beach, Australia