Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category

She Wan­dered In­to a For­eign Film Fes­ti­val at the Bi­jou

Teen girl #1: Have you been go­ing to church late­ly?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I found a new church I re­al­ly like.
Teen girl #1: Re­al­ly?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, it like smells all creepy, and, like, they speak in tongues. It is re­al­ly scary, so I will prob­a­bly go to this one!
Teen girl #1: Cool. Maybe I’ll go with you.

–Shils­hole Beach, Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Why do those peo­ple have goatskins on?

A+ Nose-Pick­ing, Though.

Old­er broth­er: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(lit­tle broth­er stares clue­less­ly at old­er broth­er)
Old­er broth­er: No, you fail!

–Long Beach Is­land, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Joseph Ham­mer­man

An Over­abun­dance of Sand and Sun, for One Thing

Long Is­land wife: Shawn! Shawn, you id­iot, your son wants to come swim­ming with you!
Long Is­land hus­band: Did you just call me an id­iot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so up­set she starts packing.]Long Is­land hus­band: What are you do­ing? You said you want­ed to go to the beach to­day!
Long Is­land wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fuck­ing sucks!

–West Palm Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: sat near them on the plane go­ing home two days lat­er, too