Dude: Yo, that guy’s Asian as hell!
–Nag’s Head, North Carolina
Overheard by: alxie
Archive for the ‘North Carolina’ Category
Why Bill Got Fired from His Weatherman Gig
Tourist: What a beautiful day! If it were a girl I’d take her home and eat her pussy out all night!
–Nags Head, North Carolina
And Beginning to Regret the Decision to Have Children Late in Life
Child: Mommy, how old are you?
Mother: I am forty.
Child: [counting on fingers] Jeez, Mommy, you’re running out of numbers.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
When I Was Supposed to Be Attending My Daughter's Graduation
58-year-old woman: I executed 23 successful ops in my Utopia game last night.
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
And Then They Can Trade
Girl waiting for busy elevator: I hate this elevator! It always takes so long. They should just make one go up and the other go down.
–Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Smithra
Ask Again, and See Who Answers
Guy: Ouch! This sand is hot.
Girl: Where are your shoes?
Guy: Shoes? You don’t wear shoes on the beach. The sand feels too good to wear shoes.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Bill
Magnifying an Image by 100x Totally Counteracts the Effects Of Shrinkage
Chubby, bald man to female friends: They should really put mirrors on the beach, facing out towards the water, so you can watch yourself in the ocean… No, not mirrors, JumboTrons! I would love to watch myself on a giant tv while I swim!
–Kure Beach, North Carolina
I Was Hoping to Sustain Your Youthful Innocence a Bit Longer. We Hate Black People
Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Chad
It Has Its Hands Full Warming the Globe
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
And Your Personality Sure Isn't Going to Tip the Balance
Mom to three-year-old boy: Don’t you run into the ocean. It’s cold. If you start drowning, no one is going to want to come in and save you!
–Topsail Island, North Carolina
Overheard by: Eric