Girl to guy with oddly-shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have?
Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don’t know you!
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Archive for the ‘North Carolina’ Category
After Arriving at the Beach on Her Half-Shell, Venus Spent Considerable Time Studying Her Reflection
Little girl to her mother: I spy something pretty!
Teenage girl, looking the mirror: It’s me.
–Public restroom, Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
And I Think You Owe Me an Apology
Mom to little boy: You do not pee on somebody unless they ask you to!
–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: mad-the-hatter
And Then They Can Trade
Girl waiting for busy elevator: I hate this elevator! It always takes so long. They should just make one go up and the other go down.
–Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Smithra
Maybe Not. He Might Learn About Untraceable Poisons.
Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years.
–Folly Beach, South Carolina
…I Just Use This One to Reach It
Small child, screaming: Do you have a boat?
Man in giant boat off shore: Yes.
–North Carolina
Overheard by: jen
It Has Its Hands Full Warming the Globe
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
What Isn't Better Naked?
Cute guy, about credit card: Yeah, sorry it’s bent. I jumped off the bridge.
Clerk girl: You jumped off the bridge, huh? Yeah, it’s better if you do it naked.
–7-Eleven, Manteo, North Carolina
Shoulda Trimmed the Beard
Guy: Does my face smell like vagina?
Girl: I doubt it [sniffs his face]. Well, maybe a little.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
I Was Hoping to Sustain Your Youthful Innocence a Bit Longer. We Hate Black People
Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Chad