Guy to woman: I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I'm not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I'm going to visit mom less often. –Manhattan Beach, New York
Little black kid: Why can't we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain't no pool, nigga, it's got sharks in it! –Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Girl #1: I think you might be ridiculous.
Girl #2: Look who’s talking.
Girl #1: See, you’re not normally ridiculous. On the other hand, I am always ridiculous. So why should you expect any different from me?
Girl #2: I shouldn’t. I’m sorry. –#6 Parking Lot, Jones Beach, New York
Overly tan muscle man at crowded parade: You can tell people who aren’t from New York cause they say “Excuse me”. –Coney Island, New York
Little boy: Guess what?
Little boy: On the count of three, I’m going to turn into a dinosaur. –Rockaway Beach, New York Overheard by: Ever
Skinny white guy, unaware that white girlfriend’s huge black brother is walking behind him: I don’t know why, but I just really want to fuck a black chick! –Robert Moses, New York Overheard by: Zep
Teen #1 looking down at bikini top: [Sighs] I wish my boobs were bigger. I can’t wait until one day when I’m pregnant — then they’ll grow.
Teen #2: Why don’t you go on birth control? That made Jen’s* and Michelle’s* get a whole cup bigger.
Teen #3: Yeah, Kelly’s*, too.
Teen #1: Really?! Oh, man! I’m gonna go on birth control and get knocked up. Then they’d be huge! –Long Beach, New York Overheard by: CAT
30-ish chick #1: Well, maybe your body is telling you that it’s time to have a baby.
30-ish chick #2: Well, maybe I’ll just tell my body to shut the fuck up. –Jones Beach, New York
Girl: It's funny, when I first met you, you were a virgin, and now you fuck everybody!
Guy, whining: Shut up! –Smith Point, Long Island, New York Overheard by: Tom and Katie
Young boy excitedly walking out of the ocean with father: Mom! It's still so early in the morning and I already almost drowned! –Jones Beach, New York Overheard by: jt