Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French! –Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Drunk wedding guest: Hey, cool! I wonder what bay that is…
Sober guest: Uh, that’s the Atlantic Ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: Are you sure? It looks too calm to be an ocean.
Sober guest: We’re as far East as you can get in New Jersey. That’s the ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: I think it’s some sort of bay.
Sober guest: There’s no land on the other side! It’s the ocean! –Sea Bright, New Jersey Overheard by: I looked at the map
Man: Get rid of your mustache, and then worry about the Brazilian.
Woman: Get some hair on your head, and then go fuck yourself. –Jersey Shore, New Jersey Overheard by: Mike
Cute girl walking down the boardwalk: I’ve been stared at seven times already!
Random guy walking past: Eight. –Seaside Heights, New Jersey Overheard by: bonzo
Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard? –Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Chick: Okay, that girl over there is the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen.
Dude: You’re so mean. [Dude looks] Oh my god!
Chick: I told you! –Sea Isle City, New Jersey Overheard by: Cols
20-ish blonde: What time is it in Florida? –Ocean City, New Jersey
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle? –Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here? –Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I'd totally stick drugs and shit up there! –Lavalette, New Jersey Overheard by: I have one, but I don't