Amazed beachgoer, splashing in the waves: Holy shit! There are fish in the ocean!
–Seaside Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tess
Amazed beachgoer, splashing in the waves: Holy shit! There are fish in the ocean!
–Seaside Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tess
Five-year-old as old lady swims by: Grandpa, how much older can a woman get?!
–Harry Wright Lake, Manchester, New Jersey
Overheard by: I Put on More SPF
Five-year-old (yelling across beach: Mommy, if you pooped out a baby, would I faint?
–Ocean Beach III, New Jersey
Bimbette: I thought he was a paraplegic, but it turned out he was just lazy.
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Patricia
Guy #1: Dude, but she is so annoying.
Guy #2: Yeah I know what you mean, but what else can you do?
Guy #1: I dunno, dude, but I’m not gonna take a shit on her. That’s freaking weird! I’m not into that!
Guy #2: Yeah, I guess.
–Manasquan Inlet Beach, New Jersey
Drunk wedding guest: Hey, cool! I wonder what bay that is…
Sober guest: Uh, that’s the Atlantic Ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: Are you sure? It looks too calm to be an ocean.
Sober guest: We’re as far East as you can get in New Jersey. That’s the ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: I think it’s some sort of bay.
Sober guest: There’s no land on the other side! It’s the ocean!
–Sea Bright, New Jersey
Overheard by: I looked at the map
Mom (to son #1): That’s not all you’re carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you’ll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Naked guy #1: My girlfriend thinks it’s weird that you and I come here every weekend.
Naked guy #2: Why? Did you tell her Mike and Rob come too?
Naked guy #1: Nah dude, I don’t want her to think we’re gay.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Daughter: Thanks for giving me an aneurysm, Mom.
Mother, under her breath: I wish I’d given you an aneurysm.
Daughter: What?
Mother: Nothing, dear.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cols
Man #1, stopping at free sample of fuge: Ohhh, fudge.
Man #2: Damn! It has nuts in it.
Man #1: I like nuts of all kinds.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist