Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
Archive for the ‘New Jersey’ Category
No, We're Practicing Civil Disobedience
Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?
–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
My Love for Him Burns Long and Strong
Man to friends: He's a pyromaniac from way back.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bonnie
And the Tour Guide Was Like, "This Is Your Congressman."
Biker's lady to biker: He had this plastic bag of poison ivy and was rubbing it on his face…
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
I Thought that was a Discarded Breast Implant
Little girl staring at a plastic bag washing up on the beach: Ewww! Don’t let that touch me!
Mom: Don’t worry, honey. It can’t hurt you. It’s just a Jersey jellyfish.
–Union Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Brian
And Were Shaped Like Either a Horse or a Teacup, Depending Upon Who You Ask
New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam
Downtown from the South Bronx
Chick: So, you live in the city? Wow, where do you live, downtown?
Thug kid: Yeah, downtown… Well, not exactly downtown. Harlem.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: alison
The Apple Gets Adam and Steve in Trouble
Queer #1, holding apple core: Is this biodegradable?
Queer #2, driving: Yes!
Queer #1: Okay! (tosses it out the window)
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Mob Enforcers Start Training Early
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
George Patton Learns Why Children Make Bad Soldiers
Four-year-old boy, crouched behind a sand wall, yelling at friends running from waves: Hold your positions! I said, “Hold your positions!”
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey