Seven-year-old, loudly: What do you mean nana doesn’t vote Democrat?!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: The RJP
Archive for the ‘New Jersey’ Category
… And They Drank Too Much of It
Teen tourist girl #1: Why are all the Jersey boys guidos?
Teen tourist girl #2: I don’t know. I guess there’s a lot of Italians around here.
Teen tourist girl #1: Maybe the water in the ocean is from Italy.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Glad I’m old..
When the Facts Change, I Change My Mind, Sir. What Do You Do?
Guy: See that dark area in the water slowly moving? It’s a school of fish
Girl: Wow, are you sure?
Guy: Yup — snapper.
Girl: Wow, that’s amazing. [Long pause] How come it’s now on the sand?
Guy: It could also be a cloud.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rob Kemper
Cher Is My Mom — This Fall on Lifetime
Teen girl: My ribs are so big!
Mom: You can blame your father for that.
Dad: Your ribs are fine.
Teen girl: They look like a second set of boobs!
Dad: They look fine.
Mom: You know, you can get surgery to have some of them removed.
–Belmar, New Jersey
The Pink Sombrero was Both a Clue and a Red Herring
Teen girl #1: Was he gay?
Teen girl #2: No, he was Mexican.
–Lavallette, New Jersey
That’s When Atlantic City Empties Its Septic Tanks
Little girl: Mom, the water is cold.
Mom: Well, honey, it’s only August. When we come back in September, the water will be much much warmer.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Amazing Anything Can Live on the New Jersey Coast
Guido mom to small boy holding a horseshoe crab: Eww! What is that?
Random Guido: Is it a stingray?
Guido mom: Do stingrays even live in the ocean?
–Belmar, New Jersey
How Leslie Finagles Free Movies from Half the Guys in Cape May
Guy: Two for Wanted.
Pregnant girl: You don’t need to buy my ticket. I brought money.
Guy: It’s the least I could do, after knocking you up.
Pregnant girl: Good point.
–Cape May, New Jersey
NewsFlash: Viagra and Headboards Spell Disaster
Tourist mom on cell: He’s not gonna be brain damaged! It wasn’t my fault — it was only two hours!
–Point Pleasant Boardwalk, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
So You Can Write It on Their Underwear, Which You Hang on Your “Wall Of Victory”
Seven-year-old: Dude, your sister needs hotter friends.
Friend: Well, there’s the blond one.
Seven-year-old: What’s her name?
Friend: I forget.
Seven-year-old: Dude! If they’re hot, you remember their names!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
