Five-year-old pulling her bottom lip down: I have herpes!
–Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire
Archive for the ‘New Hampshire’ Category
Actually, It's the Sequence of the Placement that Concerns Her
Woman #1: I don’t mind sand in my bathing suit or sand up my butt, but I don’t want sand in my mouth!
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yup!
Woman #2: Well, I guess that makes sense. There are a lot of things I would rather have in my butt than in my mouth.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: velma
You Know How That Is, Mom.
Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I'm sweating like a fat chick!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
I Am Parko, Almighty Parking Deity. Give Me Your Worldly Goods or Roam the Melting Streets Forever!
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc, mich
… And the Losers Will Don Suicide Belts
Bimbette announcer during Miss Hampton Beach pageant: … And now our auditor will talibate the results…
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Annette
Instead of Setting Daddy on Fire, Like Usual
Four-year-old girl: Daddy! Why did you knock over my sandcastle?!
Dad: Because you knocked over my sandcastle first.
(dad coolly turns to two-year-old son and begins playing with him)
Four-year-old girl, in hysterics: Daddy! I'm so angry at you!
Mom: Good honey, you're expressing your feelings really well.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Hey, Jews Are More Than a Side Dish
Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”
–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire
We Were Told This Was a Nude Beach
Pissed off mom to crying sons: You're goddamned right, we're leaving and we're never coming back!
–Rye Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
NewsFlash: "Whence" Makes Comeback. Film at 11.
20-something male, chasing after another with driftwood: Go back to the sea from whence you came!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Venus De Milo Accepted Her Predicament With Customary Good Humor
Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire