Woman #1: I don’t mind sand in my bathing suit or sand up my butt, but I don’t want sand in my mouth!
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yup!
Woman #2: Well, I guess that makes sense. There are a lot of things I would rather have in my butt than in my mouth.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: velma
Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I’m sweating like a fat chick!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Five-year-old pulling her bottom lip down: I have herpes!
–Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire
20-something male, chasing after another with driftwood: Go back to the sea from whence you came!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Pissed off mom to crying sons: You’re goddamned right, we’re leaving and we’re never coming back!
–Rye Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc, mich
Teen girl: I guess she has nice boobs, but they’re almost too nice.
Teen boy: Hey, give her a break. She’s only 13.
–Spofford Lake, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Nadia
Middle-aged man #1: They smoke crack and worship Satan.
Middle-aged man #2: Good.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Bunny
Child: Does that man have an accent?
Mother: He might just be retarded.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Rex
Bimbette announcer during Miss Hampton Beach pageant: … And now our auditor will talibate the results…
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Annette
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
