Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.
–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia
Archive for the ‘Nature’ Category
Also What God Was Going for
Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!
–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: think I can say
You Should Start a Support Group.
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!
–Naples, Florida
According to My Big Book Of Ways to Make Kids Cry
Little kid to mom, as storm is coming: If thunder claps while you're in the water, you're gonna die!
–Pawley's Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Running for Cover
God Lifeguards Summers So He Can Work on His Tan
Lifeguard on megaphone: Attention, beach-goers, due to the sunset, you must get out in 5 minutes or else we will turn the waves off.
Girl: Oh my God! Is he serious?!
–Huntington Beach, California
I'll Ask God If We Can Borrow His Wet-Dry Vac
Tourist, walking on boardwalk at high tide: They really have to do something about this water problem.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing Local
Saturn, for Instance, Has Universal Healthcare
Activist #1: Hey girls, want to save the world together?
Girl #1: Ummmm…
Activist #2: Do you like our planet?
Girl #2: Eh, I've been to better. Thanks, but no thanks.
–Seal Beach, California
It's Never Too Early for Internet Porn
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?
Little girl walking along shore doesn’t look at him.
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?!
Little girl looks at boy but continues walking.
Little boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It’s Jade.
Mother whispers to girl and points in boy’s direction, but girl continues walking in other direction.
Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older.
–Pomano Beach, Florida
We Also Would Have Accepted: "…But It Just Got Better"
Lifeguard: Yo! The beach ain't no good! I said the beach ain't no good today! (sees attractive woman walking toward the beach) Hey there, listen, the beach isn't good today, okay?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Nikki
They'll Inevitably Lead to a Tongue Twister
Girl looking for spot to lay down with family: Can we not go where there are so many shells?
–Point Lookout, New York
Overheard by: Rachel