Archive for the ‘Nature’ Category

And It’s Not Polite to Refer to American Children As ‘Shit’

Tween girls: Mami, Mami, we saw shit floating in the water!
Mother: God, the sea is so big, just play somewhere else.

–Ibiza, Spain

Overheard by: thorsten

Damn Teeny Boppers

Teenage boy: Ugh… Why is this place littered with shells?

–Connecticut

Overheard by: anonymous

The Answer Is Sedimentary, My Dear Watson

Bimbette looking up at cliff face: Hey, do rocks eat other rocks?
Guy: … Huh?
Bimbette: Do rocks eat other rocks? You know, so that they can grow into bigger rocks…
Guy: Are you serious? No, rocks do not eat other rocks.
Bimbette: Then, like… How do they get bigger?
Guy: [Silence.]Bimbette: Like, what do they eat?

–Merewether Beach, Newcastle, Australia

I Really Miss That Bleeding Sensation

Old lady #1: You don’t see so much sea glass anymore.
Old lady #2: Yeah, people don’t litter like they used to.
Old lady #1: That’s getting to be a real problem, isn’t it?

–Montara Beach, California

Overheard by: comber

Follow the Rising Sun until You Can’t Breathe

Man looking at the Atlantic: So where’s the ocean?

–Cocoa Beach Pier, Florida

And I Do Mean Everywhere

Middle-aged soccer mom, incredulously: There is sand everywhere! (short pause) Like, no kidding!

–Calafia Beach, San Clemente, California

Overheard by: omg, are you kidding?!

Or Swedish?

Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There’s tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical?

–Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas

Overheard by: Maggie

You Should Start a Support Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!

–Naples, Florida