Archive for the ‘Names’ Category

Brit­ney and K‑Fed in Five Years

Drunk moth­er: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk fa­ther: Well, the old­er one can stay up lat­er tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk moth­er: Bri­an­na?
Drunk fa­ther: Who the hell…? I mean, Sab­ri­na.
Drunk moth­er: You’re hold­ing Sab­ri­na.
Drunk fa­ther: Cassie! Send the oth­er two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up lat­er. [Ba­by in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.

–Beach camp­ground, Min­don, On­tario, Cana­dia

You Know — He Was Mar­ried to Flo­rence Hen­der­son, Had Six Kids and a Maid…

Girl #1: And so I told him, ‘You don’t re­al­ly look Tom Brady.’ And he was like, ‘Yeah, I’m hot­ter than he is.’ Yeah, this is why I don’t usu­al­ly lis­ten to him talk.
Girl #2: Oh, I know. He’s re­tard­ed, but he’s such a nice piece of ass.
Girl #1: Def­i­nite­ly. But I’d still take Tom Brady any day, right?
Girl #2: Wait, did­n’t they re­place him?
Girl #1: He’s one of their best play­ers! Why would they do that?
Girl #2: The news an­chor? Who are you talk­ing about?
Girl #1: You mean Tom Brokaw?
Girl #2: Oh. Who’s Tom Brady?

–Myr­tle Beach, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Mary