Archive for the ‘Names’ Category

But Don’t Tell Him About the Time We Fucked!

Chick #1: You were a com­plete whore last night.
Chick #2: Look who’s talk­ing! Do I have to men­tion the time you let Derek go down on you?
Chick #1: Bitch! That guy over there can hear you!
Chick #2: So what?
Chick #1: Lis­ten to how you’re talk­ing about me and my broth­er. He’s gonna think I’m a com­plete skank!
Chick #2: I said Derek. He did­n’t know who the fuck Derek was un­til you opened your fuckin’ mouth.
Chick #1: Uh, yeah, I guess you’re right…

–Pana­ma City Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: That guy over there

This Is What Hap­pens When We Don’t Bring the Elec­tric Col­lar

Man, run­ning as fast as he can across sand, scream­ing like a ma­ni­ac: Mol­ly! Mol­ly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, run­ning as fast as he can across sand, scream­ing like a ma­ni­ac: Mol­ly! Mol­ly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, find­ing Mol­ly sit­ting qui­et­ly: Oh, there you are.

–Lewes Beach, Delaware

Over­heard by: maybe next time, take Mol­ly with you

Just Be­cause You Named Your Triplets “Bed”, “Bath”, and “Be­yond”…

Blonde teen: You know that woman we saw at Ikea last year, the one that was like, mas­sive­ly, ex­plo­sive­ly preg­nant?
Brunette teen: Yeah?
Blonde teen: Well I’ve been won­der­ing…
Brunette teen: If she’s had her ba­by yet?
Blonde teen: No, I won­der if she named her ba­by “Ikea.”

–Bon­di Beach, Syd­ney, Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Jed­da