Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Their Brains Are in a League of Their Own

Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who?

Debate goes on for several minutes.

Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie!

–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

There Are So Few Drinking Songs

American #1: This local song, ‘Cachaca,’ is weird. Isn’t that the same word that they use for that booze? That’s like having a song just called, like, ‘Tequila’ or something.
American #2: … There is a song called ‘Tequila.’ It was in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.

–Salvador, Brazil

Overheard by: E. Vill. Genius

I Think They Even Did Splits!

Large lady in elevator to another: The kids brought back this DVD, they said it was PG-13… Well they started it up and it was raunchy! It had cheerleaders in it and god knows what else.

–Majestic Beach Towers, Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Heading to Blockbusters to find that DVD!

No, There Has to Be at Least an Hour of Hijinks and Double Entendre First!

Foreign girl: Hello. I just bought this bike. I need a special instrument to raise the seat. Can you help me?
Guy #1: We might. Do you need a wrench?
Foreign girl: Oh. I don’t know…[giggles]Guy #2: Where are you from?
Foreign girl: Belarus.
Guy #1: Why did you decide to come to the US?
Foreign girl, excitedly: I came for work and pleasure! I work at Subway!
Guy #2: This is so stereotypical teen movie.
Foreign girl: Does that mean you can fix my bike?
Guy #1: Do you wanna come inside and get drunk with us?

–5 Kings Row, Dewey Beach, Delaware