Archive for the ‘Money’ Category

Un­less I Al­so Got Free Snacks

Short sis­ter: If I were to be in a porno with any­one, I would choose to be in it with you.
Tall sis­ter: I’m not risk­ing my dig­ni­ty to be in a porno with my sis­ter. No mat­ter how much you’re pay­ing me.

–Lake Kala­mal­ka, Ver­non, British Co­lum­bia, Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Sounds like a good time to me.

Her Tat Ac­tu­al­ly Says ‘Stay the Hell Out’

Dude #1: I bet I can make Jill* show us her coot­er right here on the beach.
Dude #2: No way.
Dude #1: Twen­ty bucks says I can.
Dude #2: You’re on.
Dude #1: Hey, Jill, I hear you have a tat­too above your vagi­na that says ‘Come on in.‘
Jill: What?! What kind of skank do you think I am?
Dude #1: Well, I don’t. That’s what I heard.
Jill: Okay, I’ll show you when we get back to the room.
Dude #1: You’ll for­get. Do it now. No one’s watch­ing. [Jill low­ers her biki­ni bot­tom.] I’m go­ing to tell that per­son to stop telling lies about you.

–Des­tin, Flori­da

On­ly Kid­ding, Pook­ie — I Love Your Soft Lit­tle Vi­en­na Sausage

Sales­man: Gringo, gringo. Mex­i­can wrestling mask, Na­cho Li­bre!
Guy: No, dude, sor­ry. I al­ready bought two to­day.
Sales­man: Señori­ta, one for you?
Girl: Um, no, thanks.
Sales­man: Come on… it will be some­thing dif­fer­ent for tonight!
Girl: If I want­ed some­thing dif­fer­ent, we’d be at the far­ma­cia buy­ing Cialis.

–Puer­to Nue­vo, Mex­i­co