Archive for the ‘Money’ Category

I Am Parko, Almighty Park­ing De­ity. Give Me Your World­ly Goods or Roam the Melt­ing Streets For­ev­er!

Park­ing lot at­ten­dant: Thir­ty dol­lars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dol­lars.
Park­ing lot at­ten­dant: I should be charg­ing you the same amount as it is de­grees out­side. I should be charg­ing you like nine­ty three dol­lars.

–Hamp­ton Beach, New Hamp­shire

Over­heard by: arc, mich

And Re­sign­ing From Your Fan Club

50-some­thing woman: I want the tiramisu for my birth­day cake!
Hus­band: Well, the restau­rant says they on­ly have in­di­vid­ual por­tions, not a big thing. That would be ex­pen­sive for eleven peo­ple.
50-some­thing woman: Well, I don’t want the key lime pie, that’s fifth on a list of five op­tions.
20-some­thing woman #1: Well, why don’t we get a pie for every­one else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-some­thing woman: I want every­one to eat what I’m eat­ing in com­mem­o­ra­tion of my birth­day!
20-some­thing woman #2: Oh my god. I’m leav­ing.

–Hold­en Beach, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Au­drey

Tahit­ian Women: ‘There’s So Much More to Us Than That!’

Tanned girl: That’s not tan­ning lo­tion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it bet­ter get me your col­or. Be­sides, it says Tahit­ian women have been us­ing it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahit­ian women have been hav­ing syphilis for years, too.

–Sport­ing Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon

Over­heard by: Nicol­ien