Ten-year-old girl to mother, excitedly: I have the right to choose!
–Royal Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Penelope
Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category
Hopefully Only Sorrows Will Be Drowned Today.
Mother to five-year-old son: If anything happens get help from a lifeguard. Mommy's gonna be at the bar.
–Blizzard Beach, Disney World, Florida
I've Never Admired You More, Mom
Teenage girl: Rob Lowe is ridiculously hot. Hey, did you know he has a sex tape?
Girl's mother: Yes, I did know that because I starred in it with him. And he was good.
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Lazy Fat-Asses
Teen girl: Do sea lions swim?
Mom: No, they ride boats.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: just wanted to take a look at SEA LIONS
Liv Tyler: As Long As They Don't Find Out I'm Secretly Asian
Mother: Both of my daughters are allowed to marry Orlando Bloom if they ever want to. That is one gorgeous boy.
Father: Who’s Orlando Bloom?
Daughter #1: An elf.
Mother: No, he’s not.
Daughter #2: Yes, he is — he was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings.
Father: The elf was played by a black man?
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Get the Chum Bucket, Will You?
Little girl: Mummy, mummy, look! It’s a shark!
Mum: No, sweetie, that’s Grandpa.
–Caloundra, Australia
You Should Only Hit Your Enemies, Your Children, and Iraq
Woman, smacking her son over the head: Don’t hit your friends!
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Herbie McHebrew
To Only Do It at Night?
Mother to son: What did he tell you about playing on his mound?
–Riis Park Beach, New York
Overheard by: Britt
I Just Realized How Much I Miss The Golden Girls
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Either Way, That Benicio Del Toro Can Act!
Child: Does that man have an accent?
Mother: He might just be retarded.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Rex