Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

Would You Terribly Mind Bubble-Wrapping the Car?

Lady on cell: Hello? I need to get a spare tire put on… Yes, the BMW — my son’s car. Well, I’m not actually sure what tire it is. See, my son’s the one with the flat. He’s a few blocks from home, and he has his own AAA number, but he said he called and he got the automated menu, and he got confused. He’s only 20, and– [pause, then] –Yes, I guess I do coddle him…

–Malibu, California

Overheard by: Danielle

An Overabundance of Sand and Sun, for One Thing

Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too

Wait, Where Are the Kids?

Tourist lady #1: Do you think the melon is any good? Should I give it to the kids?
Tourist man: Why? What’s wrong with it?
Tourist lady #1: It was on the counter earlier for an hour or so.
Tourist lady #2: Oh, no, I’d ask someone else.
Tourist lady #1, loudly, to others in group: Do you think the melon is any good? I’m not sure I should give it to the kids.
Group members: Why? I don’t know if you should! Do the kids like melon? Was it warm when it was out?
Male stranger in line: Are you retahded?! Just give them the fuckin’ melon!

–Crane Beach, Ipswich, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Buhaj