Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French! –Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world. –Miami, Florida
Mom, pushing crying three-year-old: You cannot cry here! Wait till we get back to New York, where it s snowing, to cry! –Isla Verde, San Juan, Puerto Rico Overheard by: i wanna cry too!
Walrusy pink tourist mom, juggling McDonald's bags and towels: Are those seagulls following us?
Dancing pink tourist toddler: I want hanka burger and French-ah fries!
(seagulls swoop over them, attacking the bags)
Dancing pink tourist, shrieking: Oh my god! My French-ah fries! –St. Peterburg Beach, Florida Overheard by: Sandy Paws
British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I'm giving it to charity! –Miami Beach, Florida
Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it's dead.
Adult daughter's husband, without looking up from newspaper: It's not dead, it's just asleep. –Maguire's Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts Overheard by: oysterwoman
Mom to 10-year-old son after he shakes sandy blanket in her face: You little fucker. I am going to fucking drown you in the ocean! –Clearwater, Florida
Mom: Hey! Tell them the new teenager attitude sound.
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s spelled P-F-F-T.
Girl #2: Doesn’t it have, like, an ‘H’ in it or something? Like P-H-F-F-T?
Uncle: You don’t even have to have the ‘T’ in it. You could definitely go without the ‘T.’ –Inverhuron, Ontario, Canadia Overheard by: sun-fried brain
Young mom pointing to giant plaster camel: Hey, look! A giraffe! –Panama City, Florida Overheard by: Feeling bad for the kid
Mom to screaming eight-year-old boy: I'm going to throw you in the pool if you don't behave.
Eight-year-old boy: Are you crazy? I'll get an ear infection! –Resort Restaurant, Dominican Republic Overheard by: Tanya from NY