Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

I'll Just Go Back to Calling Her Fat

Mother to toddler: Baby, don’t cough like that. People are going to think you have TB, and then no one will want to be your friend! [To friend] I probably shouldn’t tell her that, should I?
Friend: Probably not. You’re going to give her a complex.
Mother: Shit.

–Panama Beach, Florida

Honey, I Chummed the Kids

Crabby mom to sugared-up five-year-old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!

–South Padre Island, Texas

Overheard by: airwav