Archive for the ‘Meatheads’ Category

Where Does Being a Member of an Obsolete Sub-Culture Rank?

Jock #1: So I heard about this champion high school wrestler on Real Sports who has no legs.
Jock #2: That’s awesome. Good for him. I never won a championship in high school.
Punk, walking by: You know what’s better then being a state championship wrestler with no legs?
Both jocks: What?
Punk: Having legs!

–Pearl Street, Beach Haven, New Jersey

Overheard by: andrew dean

Which Was Good, because I Didn't

Blonde: Wait, do Jewish people burn or tan?
Meathead: Well, some are pasty and some are really dark.
Blonde: Yeah, ’cause, like, she’s Jewish and she gets a tan. I came into work the other day and my hair was curly, and everyone was like, ‘Whoa!’ But then I told them I’m half-Jewish, so they understood.

–Manchester by the Sea, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i burn and i’m not

Wore the Old One Out

Knife-scarred muscle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play checkers and hopefully win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrabble and cheat! I just bought a new thesaurus.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: donovan