Archive for the ‘Meatheads’ Category

Point Tak­en

Meat­head: Dude! Your trunks, they’re too short.
Hot dude wear­ing 80s trunks: Dude! This is Amer­i­ca, I can wear what­ev­er I want.
Meat­head: This is not Amer­i­ca. This is New Jer­sey!

–Jer­sey Shore, New Jer­sey

Which Was Good, be­cause I Did­n’t

Blonde: Wait, do Jew­ish peo­ple burn or tan?
Meat­head: Well, some are pasty and some are re­al­ly dark.
Blonde: Yeah, ’cause, like, she’s Jew­ish and she gets a tan. I came in­to work the oth­er day and my hair was curly, and every­one was like, ‘Whoa!’ But then I told them I’m half-Jew­ish, so they un­der­stood.

–Man­ches­ter by the Sea, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: i burn and i’m not

Where Does Be­ing a Mem­ber of an Ob­so­lete Sub-Cul­ture Rank?

Jock #1: So I heard about this cham­pi­on high school wrestler on Re­al Sports who has no legs.
Jock #2: That’s awe­some. Good for him. I nev­er won a cham­pi­onship in high school.
Punk, walk­ing by: You know what’s bet­ter then be­ing a state cham­pi­onship wrestler with no legs?
Both jocks: What?
Punk: Hav­ing legs!

–Pearl Street, Beach Haven, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: an­drew dean

Wore the Old One Out

Knife-scarred mus­cle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play check­ers and hope­ful­ly win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrab­ble and cheat! I just bought a new the­saurus.

–Coney Is­land, New York

Over­heard by: dono­van