Knife-scarred muscle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play checkers and hopefully win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrabble and cheat! I just bought a new thesaurus.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: donovan
Archive for the ‘Meatheads’ Category
Point Taken
Meathead: Dude! Your trunks, they're too short.
Hot dude wearing 80s trunks: Dude! This is America, I can wear whatever I want.
Meathead: This is not America. This is New Jersey!
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
What If I Asked to Lick Your Ass?
Buff guy, after ordering an extra “floater” shot on top of his strawberry daiquiri: Is ordering that gay?
Friend: Not any gayer than drinking a daiquiri.
–Newport Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: ThoseGuys
The Sun Finally Finished with That Chick
White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?
–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Cara
It's Good That You Both Are Planning Ahead For Your Futures as Vagrants
Meathead: God, there are an awful lot of bums here.
Ditzy girl: I know. But think about it, being a bum in San Diego is totally smart. It’s never cold, and they can just sleep on the beach, and the church around the corner from my house feeds them for free every day. They’ve got it made!
Meathead: Totally. Being a bum here must rock. If I ever need to, I’m gonna be a bum here.
Ditzy girl: I know. I don’t know why people would be bums anywhere else. I mean, how stupid. If you’re gonna be homeless, do it in San Diego. Duh.
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: American Goods
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: 'Is That on the Table? Why Wasn't I Informed?!'
Big jock: We just need to give America back to the Muslims.
–Barceloneta Beach, Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: Confesed Passerby
Time to Install More RAM
Jock #1: Woah! I am so down for some volleyball!
Jock #2: Bocce ball!
Jock #1: Bocce is huge.
Jock #2: Man, I feel like a kid in a candy store… Yo, I am so into this bocce ball.
Jock #1: Bocce is huge.
–Dr. Gravity’s Kite Shop, Harwichport, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jon wazoo
Um, Actually, It's Yours
Meathead: I’m sick of drama, and I’m sick of people coming down and crashing at my beach house. It’s so annoying when people just use my stuff. Can I have some of your water?
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
He Was Even Female for About a Month in 2004
Teen meathead #1: What are you?
Teen meathead #2: 100% Italian.
Teen meathead #1: Oh, really? That's mad cool.
Teen meathead #2: Yeah, but my brother is all different things–he's like Jewish and Irish and stuff.
–Lido Beach West, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: ally
Yes, It's Important That They Be Well Educated
Jock: Don’t diabetics have to check their pH level?
–Long Beach, New York