It's Good That You Both Are Planning Ahead For Your Futures as Vagrants

Meathead: God, there are an awful lot of bums here.
Ditzy girl: I know. But think about it, being a bum in San Diego is totally smart. It’s never cold, and they can just sleep on the beach, and the church around the corner from my house feeds them for free every day. They’ve got it made!
Meathead: Totally. Being a bum here must rock. If I ever need to, I’m gonna be a bum here.
Ditzy girl: I know. I don’t know why people would be bums anywhere else. I mean, how stupid. If you’re gonna be homeless, do it in San Diego. Duh.

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Overheard by: American Goods

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: 'Is That on the Table? Why Wasn't I Informed?!'

Big jock: We just need to give America back to the Muslims.

–Barceloneta Beach, Barcelona, Spain

Overheard by: Confesed Passerby

Time to Install More RAM

Jock #1: Woah! I am so down for some volleyball!
Jock #2: Bocce ball!
Jock #1: Bocce is huge.
Jock #2: Man, I feel like a kid in a candy store… Yo, I am so into this bocce ball.
Jock #1: Bocce is huge.

–Dr. Gravity’s Kite Shop, Harwichport, Massachusetts

Overheard by: jon wazoo

Um, Actually, It's Yours

Meathead: I’m sick of drama, and I’m sick of people coming down and crashing at my beach house. It’s so annoying when people just use my stuff. Can I have some of your water?

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

He Was Even Female for About a Month in 2004

Teen meathead #1: What are you?
Teen meathead #2: 100% Italian.
Teen meathead #1: Oh, really? That's mad cool.
Teen meathead #2: Yeah, but my brother is all different things–he's like Jewish and Irish and stuff.

–Lido Beach West, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: ally

Yes, It's Important That They Be Well Educated

Jock: Don’t diabetics have to check their pH level?

–Long Beach, New York

A Cell Phone Is Like a Woman: If It's Not Turned On, It Stays Dry

Wrestler #1: The other day I went in the water, and I forgot my cell phone was in my pocket. It doesn’t work anymore.
Wrestler #2: Was it on?
Wrestler #1: Yes.
Wrestler #2: Well, you should have turned it off before you went in!

–The Black Sea

Oh, Man… You? Again?

Meathead #1: I was so wasted last night.
Meathead #2: Yeah?
Meathead #1: My girlfriend showed me pictures of me making out with a dude.
Meathead #2: Yeah, I think that was me.

–Revere Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tom

Must Be Cracker Mating Season

Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor-blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.

–Siesta Beach, Florida

Point Taken

Meathead: Dude! Your trunks, they're too short.
Hot dude wearing 80s trunks: Dude! This is America, I can wear whatever I want.
Meathead: This is not America. This is New Jersey!

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard At The Beach

Archive for the ‘Meatheads’ Category