Ugly girl to hot friends: No, I want to have sex… I’m just not liking my odds right now.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category
Old Enough to Die of a Heart Attack During Sex, Old Enough to Have Sex With
A punk passes an 80-year-old woman in a t-shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Hottie.’
Punk: I’d hit it.
–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland
But Then You Could Tuck Your Shorts under Them
Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I.S.
Why Maryland's Famous for Its Crabs
Girl #1: Ooh, he's cute.
Girl #2: Tell him you're easy!
–Ocean City, Maryland
You May Be Too Stupid to Be My Hag, Desdemona
Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who's little Petey? Why would you name it that?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Right Where You Belong: My Heart
Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
…With Genocide at a Close Second.
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Ehhh… about Six Inches
Blonde teen to hot dog vendor: How long are your foot-long hot dogs?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Hungry-Man-on-the-Beach
What Happens in Maryland Stays in Maryland (Until the Tide Takes It to Delaware)
20-Something woman, walking on the beach with group of people: I’ll catch up with you. I have to go to the bathroom.
She proceeds to walk into the ocean.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I’m not swimming in that
I Just Realized How Much I Miss The Golden Girls
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland