College guy: Were you in the Airborne?
Guy in wheelchair wearing ‘Army Airborne’ hat and playing guitar for money: No, but the hat helps on holiday weekends.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category
Think We Should Fly South with the Flock?
Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: dr. obvious
But the Hermaphrodites I’ll Leave Alone
Girl to younger boy: You’re going to be a real lady killer when you’re older.
Younger boy: I’ll kill men, too. I don’t care.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittney
Over There’s Where Jesus Rested with the Cross
Gangsta kid to girl, on date: You see this spot right here? This is where Forrest Gump…stopped runnin’!
Girl, in disbelief: No way!
–Ocean City Boardwalk, Maryland
Overheard by: Tyler
Then I Told Her It Meant She Wouldn’t Have to Pay for College
Boy: I told my mom I wanted to be a pirate, and she got really pissed at me and told me they rape and kill and pillage!
–Ocean City Beach, Maryland
No, the Question Is Why You Have to Ask What’s Wrong With Her
Girl: I’ve counted more than 70 sparkly purses on the boardwalk tonight. What’s wrong with these people?
Guy #1: Every year it’s a new beach trend.
Guy #2: You’ve counted 70 purses? The question is what’s wrong with you.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Your Ass and My Cock, Pal
Guy #1: Hey, what if you had a donkey? Haha.
Guy #2: Yeah, if I had a donkey. Haha. If I had a donkey and you had a rooster, haha.
Guy #1: Exactly.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Worth a Try
Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.
–Ocean City, Maryland
This Just in: Queen of Universe Issues Rules for Beachwear
Preggers: They really shouldn’t let fat people go here. It’s disgusting with their stomachs all poking and out and shit. At least make them wear a shirt!
Other chick: You’re seven months pregnant and wearing a bikini. Doesn’t that include you, too?
Preggers: Shut up, bitch. Of course I don’t count. Guys dig sexy pregnant women.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Glynnis O
…Though I Guess the Cow Also Works.
Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one’s for you cuz it’s got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I’m sorry. Where’s the one with a bitch on it for you?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
