Girl: Ah! Julian’s so bad at paying attention to me when we aren’t having sex! Wait, did I say that out loud?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category
Your Editors Predict Big Things for That Soft Drink
20-something guy, screaming to total stranger: My dick is, like, totally swollen, bro!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
That’s Really More of a South-of-Maryland Thing
Early-20s chick: I mean, I love my dad as a father and a friend, but, like, definitely not as a husband.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: awesome is as awesome does
Right Where You Belong: My Heart
Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
…So You’re An, Um, Member Of the Same Club.
Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There’s no way he didn’t know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: The WC
Why Maryland’s Famous for Its Crabs
Girl #1: Ooh, he’s cute.
Girl #2: Tell him you’re easy!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Could You Just Put the Cake at the Bottom Of the Sugar Bag?
Thin girl ordering funnel cake: I want so much powdered sugar on it that I don’t want to be able to see the dough!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Sniffling, Leroy Cut the Cards
Seven-year-old boy: Dad! Dad! Dad! It’s time to go back to the room. I need to put on underwear — I’m starting to chafe!
Dad: Good for you. Now go back out there and deal [continues smoking his cigar].
–21st Street Beach, Ocean City, Maryland
Idiot! They Hang Out with You to Improve Their Odds
Ugly girl to hot friends: No, I want to have sex… I’m just not liking my odds right now.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
God Does the Rest
Tourist: Where do they put the sand in the winter?
Local, sarcastically: Oh, they put it in bags and store it in the convention center.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: OC local
