Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who’s little Petey? Why would you name it that?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category
Old Enough to Die of a Heart Attack During Sex, Old Enough to Have Sex With
A punk passes an 80-year-old woman in a t‑shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Hottie.’
Punk: I’d hit it.
–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland
Dear Tony– More Vinegar, Less Garlic — Love, Marsha
Ghetto chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghetto chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You better be talkin’ ’bout my lotion.
Ghetto chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghetto chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t nothin’ in there to smell!
Ghetto chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nigga’s breath, then.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: karen g.
The Day of the Mom-and-Pop Brothel Has Passed
Wife: Yeah, but think of all those Asian girls we fucked. Now think of their husbands and boyfriends…
Husband: Yeah… If I was one of those nerdy, ugly white guys I’d be pulling mad Oriental ass.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: lora
But Then You Could Tuck Your Shorts under Them
Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I.S.
Some Parents Will Do Anything to Motivate Their Kids
Girl: Ah! Julian’s so bad at paying attention to me when we aren’t having sex! Wait, did I say that out loud?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Your Editors Predict Big Things for That Soft Drink
20-something guy, screaming to total stranger: My dick is, like, totally swollen, bro!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
That’s Really More of a South-of-Maryland Thing
Early-20s chick: I mean, I love my dad as a father and a friend, but, like, definitely not as a husband.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: awesome is as awesome does
Right Where You Belong: My Heart
Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
…So You’re An, Um, Member Of the Same Club.
Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There’s no way he didn’t know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: The WC
