Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category

And Then We’ll Feast

Guy looking in the water: What’s that?
Girl: Dunno, a hat?
Guy: Looks like a taxi driver’s hat.
Girl: His body will wash up soon enough.

–Stoney Beach, Maryland

Overheard by: MonicaIsWayRad

And What Exactly Do You Sell Again?

Man, answering phone: Talbot Street Watersports, how may I help you?
Customer: Oh, what street are you on?
Man: Still on Talbot Street.
Customer: Oh, good… I was just checking.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: OC Rocket

…With Genocide at a Close Second.

Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you’re more tan than you actually are.

–Ocean City, Maryland

You May Be Too Stupid to Be My Hag, Desdemona

Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who’s little Petey? Why would you name it that?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Old Enough to Die of a Heart Attack During Sex, Old Enough to Have Sex With

A punk passes an 80-year-old woman in a t‑shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Hottie.’

Punk: I’d hit it.

–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland

Dear Tony– More Vinegar, Less Garlic — Love, Marsha

Ghetto chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghetto chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You better be talkin’ ’bout my lotion.
Ghetto chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghetto chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t nothin’ in there to smell!
Ghetto chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nigga’s breath, then.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: karen g.

The Day of the Mom-and-Pop Brothel Has Passed

Wife: Yeah, but think of all those Asian girls we fucked. Now think of their husbands and boyfriends…
Husband: Yeah… If I was one of those nerdy, ugly white guys I’d be pulling mad Oriental ass.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: lora