Gay man to another: You are to florist shops as others are to tattoo parlors.
–St. Michaels, Maryland
Overheard by: I am to shoe stores
Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category
Probably Has Something to Do with the Location of His Brain
Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Ryan
God Rolls an Icy White Blanket over the Water — Like a Pool Tarp
Tourist: What do they do with the beach in the winter?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Travis
Idiot! They Hang Out with You to Improve Their Odds
Ugly girl to hot friends: No, I want to have sex… I’m just not liking my odds right now.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
Old Enough to Die of a Heart Attack During Sex, Old Enough to Have Sex With
A punk passes an 80-year-old woman in a t-shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Hottie.’
Punk: I’d hit it.
–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland
But Then You Could Tuck Your Shorts under Them
Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I.S.
Why Maryland's Famous for Its Crabs
Girl #1: Ooh, he's cute.
Girl #2: Tell him you're easy!
–Ocean City, Maryland
You May Be Too Stupid to Be My Hag, Desdemona
Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who's little Petey? Why would you name it that?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Right Where You Belong: My Heart
Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
…With Genocide at a Close Second.
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.
–Ocean City, Maryland