Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I’ll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don’t know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Girl #1: Ooh, he’s cute.
Girl #2: Tell him you’re easy!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.
–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland
Guy #1: Hey, what if you had a donkey? Haha.
Guy #2: Yeah, if I had a donkey. Haha. If I had a donkey and you had a rooster, haha.
Guy #1: Exactly.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Redhead: Holy shit! A penis!
Blonde: What?
–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Boots
Guy looking in the water: What’s that?
Girl: Dunno, a hat?
Guy: Looks like a taxi driver’s hat.
Girl: His body will wash up soon enough.
–Stoney Beach, Maryland
Overheard by: MonicaIsWayRad
Man, answering phone: Talbot Street Watersports, how may I help you?
Customer: Oh, what street are you on?
Man: Still on Talbot Street.
Customer: Oh, good… I was just checking.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: OC Rocket
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you’re more tan than you actually are.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who’s little Petey? Why would you name it that?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
A punk passes an 80-year-old woman in a t‑shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Hottie.’
Punk: I’d hit it.
–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
