Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category
…With Genocide at a Close Second.
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Ehhh… about Six Inches
Blonde teen to hot dog vendor: How long are your foot-long hot dogs?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Hungry-Man-on-the-Beach
What Happens in Maryland Stays in Maryland (Until the Tide Takes It to Delaware)
20-Something woman, walking on the beach with group of people: I’ll catch up with you. I have to go to the bathroom.
She proceeds to walk into the ocean.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I’m not swimming in that
I Just Realized How Much I Miss The Golden Girls
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
The Day of the Mom-and-Pop Brothel Has Passed
Wife: Yeah, but think of all those Asian girls we fucked. Now think of their husbands and boyfriends…
Husband: Yeah… If I was one of those nerdy, ugly white guys I’d be pulling mad Oriental ass.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: lora
Could You Just Put the Cake at the Bottom Of the Sugar Bag?
Thin girl ordering funnel cake: I want so much powdered sugar on it that I don't want to be able to see the dough!
–Ocean City, Maryland
We've Tested the Law in Court
Conservative mom on cell: Julia, you just can’t bring your kids here and let them swim naked… What? Yes, Julia, it’s illegal.
–51st Street, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Unexpecting Beach Reader
And What Exactly Do You Sell Again?
Man, answering phone: Talbot Street Watersports, how may I help you?
Customer: Oh, what street are you on?
Man: Still on Talbot Street.
Customer: Oh, good… I was just checking.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: OC Rocket
No, That's What Your Mother Refuses to Give Me
Guy to daughter: Okay, here's one: Oink, oink!
Daughter: That's a pig!
Guy: Cock-a-doodle-do!
Daughter: That's a…morning chicken.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Here4theLaughs