Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

To Be Fair, What American Would?

Woman, putting lotion on man's back: How long have your parents been married?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your parents got married after you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you're 40! Okay, now you're scaring me. I just spilled half the bottle of lotion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I'd explain it to you but you wouldn't understand.

–Fort De Soto Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ishkabibble

Liv Tyler: As Long As They Don't Find Out I'm Secretly Asian

Mother: Both of my daughters are allowed to marry Orlando Bloom if they ever want to. That is one gorgeous boy.
Father: Who’s Orlando Bloom?
Daughter #1: An elf.
Mother: No, he’s not.
Daughter #2: Yes, he is — he was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings.
Father: The elf was played by a black man?

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina