Tourist, about the tide: Where does all the water go? –Ogunquit Beach, Ogunquit, Maine Overheard by: C’mon
Old short man: When was the last time you were with an old and short man?
19-year-old girl: (silence) –Old Orchard Beach, Maine Overheard by: Stephanie Wall
Tourist dad: Great communication, guys. Now I had to walk out here and get my feet all sandy. –Ogunquit, Maine
Girl: Instead of “fisting” would elephants do “trunking”?
Guy: Wouldn't that be redundant? You know, trunk… Penis…
Girl: Yeah, maybe trunking is just elephant oral. (pause) That is a sentence I never thought I would ever say. –Bar Harbor, Maine
Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite? –Echo Lake, Maine
Grandmother to two small children near cliff: Only one of you at a time, I don't want to be responsible for two small children falling off the cliff. –Fort Williams Park, Maine
Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable! –Old Orchard Beach, Maine Overheard by: shawshank
Tourist: Are you a lifeguard?
Lifeguard: No, I just bring this 12-foot wooden lifeguard stand with me wherever I go. –Kennebunk, Maine Overheard by: Mike
Soccer mom to friend: Masturbation… Ejaculation… All the stuff. –Drift Inn Beach, Port Clyde, Maine Overheard by: Sara
Older woman: You don’t remember me, do you?
Young woman: Nope.
Older woman: You lived next door to me when you lived with your aunt in Salem!
Young woman: Salem?
Older woman: Salem, New Hampshire.
Young woman: I don’t have an aunt in Salem.
Older woman: Oh, come on, don’t you remember?
Young woman: I never lived in New Hampshire. I have lived in Maine my whole life.
Older woman, sarcastically: Yeah…Okay. –Wells Beach, Maine Overheard by: Vee-licious