Archive for the ‘Maine’ Category

How’d It Get in Your Mouth Again?

Girl: I lost my butthole! Oh, wait, there it is!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Misaki

But Possibly Guatemalish

WASP girl: I saw three of them, and they all looked the same. I think they were Mexicanese?

–Bar Harbor, Maine

Overheard by: dulcineaesq

Solomon Islands Tourist: Where Did All This Water Come From?

Tourist, about the tide: Where does all the water go?

–Ogunquit Beach, Ogunquit, Maine

Overheard by: C’mon

Wow, Am I Lost

Girl: Excuse me, what lake is this?
Street vendor: The Atlantic one.

–Portland, Maine

She Thinks the War in Iraq Is Just Darling

Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her – it’s adorable!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank

Jesus, Bitsy!

Preppy 60-something #1: Now you only owe me 10,463 martinis.
Preppy 60-something #2: Yep, she owes me a bunch, too.

–Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

But Now That I Have, I Suspect I’m a Genius

Girl: Instead of “fisting” would elephants do “trunking”?
Guy: Wouldn’t that be redundant? You know, trunk… Penis…
Girl: Yeah, maybe trunking is just elephant oral. (pause) That is a sentence I never thought I would ever say.

–Bar Harbor, Maine

Winter In Maine Is …Less Than Exciting

Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don’t think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…

–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals