Archive for the ‘Maine’ Category

How Do You Know that is­n’t Ted Kennedy?

Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoc­u­lars or some­thing.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you al­ways shut me down when I have an opin­ion? I’m en­ti­tled to it! How do you know you could­n’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an is­land in the way.

–Ken­neb­unk Beach, Maine

She Thinks the War in Iraq Is Just Dar­ling

Woman #1: Oh my good­ness, you should see your daugh­ter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, re­al­ly?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eat­ing cher­ries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!

–Old Or­chard Beach, Maine

Over­heard by: shaw­shank

New Hamp­shire: The New Jer­sey of New Eng­land

Old­er woman: You don’t re­mem­ber me, do you?
Young woman: Nope.
Old­er woman: You lived next door to me when you lived with your aunt in Salem!
Young woman: Salem?
Old­er woman: Salem, New Hamp­shire.
Young woman: I don’t have an aunt in Salem.
Old­er woman: Oh, come on, don’t you re­mem­ber?
Young woman: I nev­er lived in New Hamp­shire. I have lived in Maine my whole life.
Old­er woman, sar­cas­ti­cal­ly: Yeah…Okay.

–Wells Beach, Maine

Over­heard by: Vee-li­cious