Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!
–Beach near Naples, Florida
Overheard by: X
Archive for the ‘Ladies’ Category
Actually, It's the Sequence of the Placement that Concerns Her
Woman #1: I don’t mind sand in my bathing suit or sand up my butt, but I don’t want sand in my mouth!
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yup!
Woman #2: Well, I guess that makes sense. There are a lot of things I would rather have in my butt than in my mouth.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: velma
Ooo, and If We Went to the Hairdresser and Got Bangs…
Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.
–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida
Note to Self: Steal Dog, Feed to Sharks
Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you're at work and she laughs.
–Tamarama Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
He Said He wasn't, but It's Hard to Argue with the Coroner
Woman #1: I once saw my neighbor being taken out of his house in a coroner’s bag.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because he was dead.
–Manhattan Beach, California
A Place and a Mental Defect
Woman #1: Is that a dead seal in the water?
Woman #2: Are you Canadian or just stupid?
Woman #1: I’m Canadian.
–Key West, Florida
Overheard by: uarerude
I Am Parko, Almighty Parking Deity. Give Me Your Worldly Goods or Roam the Melting Streets Forever!
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc, mich
When the Doors of Perception are Cleansed, Man Will See Her Ass as It Truly is: Infinite
Woman: That bitch must have one of those fun house mirrors that she looks thin in, because that ass in that suit is just wrong, wrong, wrong.
–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
From Etymology to Racism in One Easy Step
Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’
–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Disturbed
Better, I Suppose, Than 'Her Boobs Were Kind of Saggy So She Just Tucked Them Into Her Shorts.'
Woman: Her shorts were kinda baggy so she just tucked them under her boobs.
–Warren Dunes, Michigan
Overheard by: Syd O’Banion