Archive for the ‘Kink’ Category

I’m So Fat and I Haven’t Had My Period for Eight Months! I Must Have a Tumor.

Girl: My nipples are so sore! I think they’re sunburned.
Nipple-Savvy friend: Is that even possible?
Girl: What else would explain the pain? [Shows nipple]Nipple-Savvy friend: Maybe your boyfriend shouldn’t bite them so hard, yeah?
Girl: He didn’t bite them!
Nipple-Savvy friend: I can see the bite marks.
Girl: Oh.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: A beach bookreader

Guess How I’d Shift Gears

Guy #1: Okay, dude — if you could, which one of us would you sleep with?
Queer, looking back and forth, then staring at Guy #2: I have been dreaming of sitting on your face and using your ears as bicycle pedals…
Guy #2: Uh… What?

–Papas and Beer, Ensenada, Mexico

Overheard by: Alcaeus