Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category
Guess You Take after Your Mother
Little boy: Guess what?
Man: What?
Little boy: On the count of three, I’m going to turn into a dinosaur.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ever
Also What God Was Going for
Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!
–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: think I can say
No, That's What Your Mother Refuses to Give Me
Guy to daughter: Okay, here's one: Oink, oink!
Daughter: That's a pig!
Guy: Cock-a-doodle-do!
Daughter: That's a…morning chicken.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Here4theLaughs
What You Get for Eating Cafeteria Food
Five-year-old pulling her bottom lip down: I have herpes!
–Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire
I Thought that was a Discarded Breast Implant
Little girl staring at a plastic bag washing up on the beach: Ewww! Don’t let that touch me!
Mom: Don’t worry, honey. It can’t hurt you. It’s just a Jersey jellyfish.
–Union Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Brian
Sir, I'm Going to Need to Wand You
Boy #1: Yeah, it was cool, but that bouncer searched me like crazy. He was patting my thighs and stuff. Security is crazy at that place, huh?
Boy #2: What security?
Boy #3: What bouncer?
Boy #1: You know, that big, fat guy near the entrance.
Boy #2: There was no security dude.
Boy #1: … Then who the hell was that guy?!
Boys #2 and #3 laugh hysterically.
–Venice Beach, California
Great White Ones!
Little black kid: Why can't we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain't no pool, nigga, it's got sharks in it!
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Downtown from the South Bronx
Chick: So, you live in the city? Wow, where do you live, downtown?
Thug kid: Yeah, downtown… Well, not exactly downtown. Harlem.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: alison
Mob Enforcers Start Training Early
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey