Archive for the ‘Jobs & careers’ Category

And Terrorists Are Da Bomb.

Eight-year-old boy to random adult: I want to be a terrorist just like my grandpa!
Shocked random adult: Wouldn't you rather be a police officer or a Texas Ranger or something?
Eight-year-old boy: No. They don't get paaaaaid!

–New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Rachel Marie

It's a Seller's Market

Man #1: Hey, man, what you doing?
Man #2: Oh, nothing. Just watching this whore getting a customer across the street.
Man #1: Huh? How do you know she’s a whore?
Man #2: ‘Cause we’ve been standing here for about an hour and she’s been leaning against different cars talking, getting in, leaving, and coming back. Besides, she’s dressed like a whore.
Man #3: So are half the people here.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Les

…Have You Ever Played Second Life?

Dirty surfer to disinterested hippie girl: I mean, I do something for the military that nobody else does, no one has ever been able to do. It's tracking a submarine, underwater, tracking exactly where it is and where it goes, without using sonar, or any technology, or detection devices. They don't know how I do it, and I won't tell them, but I do it. I've won awards for it.

–Ala Moana Blvd. honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: mel

He's a Full-Time Burnout

Girl with lower standards: I think you should go out with Spook. Yeah, I like him for you.
Girl with higher standards: He’s a drug dealer. Why would I want to date a drug dealer?
Girl with lower standards: He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl with higher standards: He sells me weed all the time.
Girl with lower standards: That’s just his part-time job.

–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas