Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category

You Could Have Had a Friend in Penn­syl­va­nia, But Nooo…

Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just com­ing down for the week­end in their lit­tle homes, fuck­ing up the traf­fic and mak­ing park­ing dif­fi­cult. Go home!
Lo­cal teen: Your li­cense plate says you’re from Penn­syl­va­nia.
Tourist guy: I rent for the sum­mer. I guess I’m kin­da like you, in a sense.
Lo­cal teen: Bitch, please.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Over­heard by: beach na­tive

This Just in: Queen of Uni­verse Is­sues Rules for Beach­wear

Preg­gers: They re­al­ly should­n’t let fat peo­ple go here. It’s dis­gust­ing with their stom­achs all pok­ing and out and shit. At least make them wear a shirt!
Oth­er chick: You’re sev­en months preg­nant and wear­ing a biki­ni. Does­n’t that in­clude you, too?
Preg­gers: Shut up, bitch. Of course I don’t count. Guys dig sexy preg­nant women.

–Ocean City, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Glyn­nis O

No, Our Mics Picked That Up Fine

Fat guy to wife who’s sun­bathing on her stom­ach: Wow. You need to shave — you got some wild, stray hairs back there.
Wife: Say it loud­er, ass­hole.

–Rose­mary Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: She’s still hot­ter than you, pal