Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category
Moral: You Should Always Take Your Camera When There's the Chance There Will Be Lesbians.
Teen male #1: I just saw two lesbians kissing in the water.
Teen male #2: What? Why didn't you take a fucking picture?
Teen male #1: Right, I forgot to take my camera phone with me while diving into the water…
–North Crete, Greece
Not Exactly Rent, But It'll Do
Tanned man #1: Look at those fags over there!
Tanned man #2: Which ones?
Tanned man #1: The two over there, sitting with those four hot girls with the fine asses, big tits, and tiny bikinis.
Tanned man #2: Wait. You and I are alone. Those two guys have two girls each. Sounds like we’re the fags.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: D Meyers
She Told Me She Got That from a Rough-Trade Escort!
Kid #1: [Inaudible.]Kid #2: That’s the noise your mom made when I punched her in the eye with my dick.
–Beach restroom, Grand Haven, Michigan
Joe's Mistake Was to Try to Fulfill Both Commands at Once
Man riding away on bike: Oh ya, why don’t you come over here and do something about it? Eat shit and fuck your mom!
–Playa Del Rey, CA
…Since She Has a Baby in Her Belly.
Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!
–Brighton Beach, New York
Your Editors Beg to Differ
Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.
–Pacific Beach, California
'80s: Seriously, Though
Chubby twink: The ’80s called, they want their lipstick back.
Chick in black with bright red lipstick: Your boyfriend called, he thinks you’re fat.
Chubby twink runs off crying, chick in black lights a smoke.
–Witty’s Lagoon, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: sleepless
A Few Drinks Will Change Her Mind
Little boy with faux tattoo heading to wading pool: Hey, let’s all get in the pool and get naked!
Little girl: With you? Ewww!
–Sea Colony, Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: RexGee
Aren't You Guys a Little Young for a Suicide Pact?
Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy