Eight-year-old boy to valet fetching a car outside a fancy restaurant: You run like an idiot!
Mom: Quiet, dear, he is just a car parking guy.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category
Sure It’s Not the Sweet Pangs Of Love?
Nagging wife on bicycle to defeated downtrodden husband on bicycle: The more I talk to you, the more my stomach is getting aggravated… ’cause you’re an asshole!
–South Beach Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: J9 and G‑Rod
…Since, Technically, It’s Thesis Research.
Blonde girl on cell: That’s not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn’t care.
–Los Angeles, California
“Figaro” Isn’t Even a Real Word!
Middle-aged woman to another, watching opera-singing karaoke street performer: I dunno… I say she’s retarded.
–Laguna Beach, California
Overheard by: Fixed Address Local
A Threesome With Both Parents Gets You an 11
Blonde teen: On a scale from 1 to 10, how slutty am I?
Brunette teen: 10.
Blonde teen: What? Oh my god, you bitch!
Brunette: You tried to hook up with my father.
Blonde: Oh, yeah…
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Erin
Tonight’s Movie: When Harry Punched Sally
Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I’ll give you racism, you black bitch.
–Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: knee coal
Are You Hitting on Me, Dennis?
Coworker #1: This is a weird song.
Coworker #2, listening to hip hop: You’re a weird song.
Coworker #1: He sounds like a child molester.
Coworker #2: You sound like a child molester.
–Long Beach, California
You Mean While You Were Out Spreading Herpes?
Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?
–Lake Michigan
American-Flag Speedos Are Never Okay
Tall guy to sweaty friend: Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you are wrong.
–Rosarito, Mexico
Overheard by: KJ
Baywatch Uncensored
Woman: Can I rent a beach chair?
Lifeguard (just off duty on the last day of the season): Fuck you, dumb cunt.
–Panama City Beach, Florida
