Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category

Ignorance Makes Me Harder than Chinese Algebra

Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures

That Was the Hottest Thing I've Ever Seen. I Dream about Her Every Night.

Doctor: This woman came into the ER the other day who had cut herself on the forehead, but instead of using a towel or something to stop the bleeding, she wrapped her head up like seven times with duct tape.
Dork: Holy shit! How did you get it off of her?
Doctor: We had to cut it off in little strips. She looked like a Hershey’s Kiss.
Dork: What, you mean she was black?
Doctor: Yes!

–Crane Beach, Massachusetts

We Don't Do that in Public, Either

Girl #1: Hey, I really want to get rid of my short-tan, but I need to change into my bathing suit bottoms.
Girl #2: Go ahead. No one will notice.

Girl #1 takes off her shorts and is about to take off her thong.

Girl #2: Jenny, I was just kidding! Put your shorts back on!
Girl #1: Oh, shit!

–Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: sun-lover