Meth-adict-looking girl: I was born by a massive gay orgy.
Friend: I wish I was born by something…
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Zach
Archive for the ‘Homosexuality’ Category
You Get to Be the Girl Tonight
Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)
–Fort Walton Beach, Florida
Lest You Be Elected Den Mother Of an All-Gay Scout Troop
Mother: We're all set for the picnic!
Random gay dude: Oh, really? Yum! What'd you get us?
Mother: Uh, roast pork sandwiches.
Random gay dude: Ooooh, sounds good! (wanders off)
Mother (whispers): You have to be careful what you say around here.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: pop pop
…According to Fun Facts About Body Hair Quarterly
Guy on cell: It's not gay if you use tweezers.
–Tampa, Florida
Now Imagine Lesley Gore Singing This
Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!
–Enseada Beach, Brazil
Overheard by: Natasha
And I Prefer "Gentleman's Gentleman"
Guy to another: I'm a man-loving man, man! Stop calling me a fag!
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: scrapes
Wendy's Discovery of Negative Probabilities Won Her That Year's Fields Medal
Woman #1: He’s gay, do you really think he has a chance with a straight guy?
Woman #2: Look, we have more of a chance than he does and we have no chance.
–Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: Dawne
How to Say "Yes" in Californian
Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…
–Pacific Beach, California
What? A Butt's a Butt, Right?
Dude #1, looking at girl’s butt: I’d say about a six.
Dude #2: Yeah… Out of a hundred!
Dude #1: Okay, fine. What about her… Eight?
Dude #2: Nah.
Dude #1: Well, what do you think?
Dude #2: That man’s about an eight.
Dude #1: Dude…
–Gold Coast, Australia
"Have You Seen the Tranny Man, the Tranny Man, the Tranny Man?"
20-something girl: Guys, did you see the man in the woman's swimsuit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-something girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a distance he could totally pass as a flat chick.
20-something girl: He can really pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glasses and everything.
Teen girl #2: Where's the tranny man? I want to see the tranny man!
–La Jolla, California
Overheard by: La Jollan