Girl #1: So…plans for tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, actually. I'm going out with Beto. He just moved to Niterói with his boyfriend.
Girl #1: Wait. What? His *boyfriend*? So he finally came out, eh?
Girl #2: Well…he didn't come out per se. He just said, “So, this is my boyfriend, Bruno.”
–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Teenage girl: Rosie O'Donnell has multiple personality disorder.
Friend: I thought she was a lesbian.
–Starbucks, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: …Which are mutually exclusive.
Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow-legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!
–Lincoln Road, Florida
Overheard by: David
Teenage boy #1: Dude, look at that hot chick… And she's topless!
Teenage boy #2: That's a man in in a speedo, you idiot.
Teenage boy #1: Oh. (look of disgust)
–Long Beach, New York
Girl: He's a whore. He's a huge, huge, well-hung whore.
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.
–Palm Coast, Florida
Overheard by: Dahbuke
Sorority girl: He’s fucking GAY! How the fuck am I supposed to fuck a fucking gay guy?!
–Galveston, Texas
Trendy Asian chick: I've seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well-dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.
–Newport Beach, California
Meth-adict-looking girl: I was born by a massive gay orgy.
Friend: I wish I was born by something…
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Zach