Archive for the ‘History’ Category

She Does­n’t Count Those Preg­nan­cies, Ei­ther

Spin-doc­tor chick: Well, re­al­ly I’ve on­ly slept with three guys.
Re­al­is­tic chick: Ha! It’s been way more than that. Af­ter your last year in col­lege, you’d have to be up to six.
Spin-doc­tor chick: Yeah, but two of them were re­al­ly bad and one was too drunk to fin­ish, so those three don’t count.

–Nan­tuck­et, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: silent­ly smirk­ing

Hey, Was­n’t That Your Foot?

Stoned surfer #1: Hey, re­mem­ber that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was run­ning around with it and would­n’t let any­one have it? That was hi­lar­i­ous.
Stoned surfer #1: To­tal­ly.

–Boli­nas, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: did­n’t think it was hi­lar­i­ous then or now

Pi­rates 2 Panned by Crit­ics; Deemed Too ‘Brainy,’ ‘Ref­er­en­tial’

20-Some­thing girl #1: Yeah, I fell asleep. It was a stu­pid movie! And that guy with the squid on his face, who was he, Medusa?
20-Some­thing girl #2: You mean Davy Jones?
20-Some­thing girl #1: Yeah. And I was like, what about The Mon­kees?
20-Some­thing girl #2: There weren’t any mon­keys.
20-Some­thing girl #1: You’re too young to re­mem­ber the Six­ties. Davy Jones was in the Mon­kees.
20-Some­thing girl #2: Um, Davy Jones the pi­rate came first. Haven’t you ever heard of Davy Jones’s lock­er?
20-Some­thing girl #1: I have ab­solute­ly no idea what you’re talk­ing about.

–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Mass­a­chu­setts

Who Did­n’t, Re­al­ly?

Brunette: I’ve al­ways want­ed a tat­too, but I don’t think I’m go­ing to get one. You can’t get buried in a Jew­ish ceme­tery if you have a tat­too.
Blonde: Why would you want to get mar­ried in a Jew­ish ceme­tery?
Brunette: Not mar­ried. Buried.
Blonde: Oh… So, are you Jew­ish?
Brunette: Yes.
Blonde: What is it with Jews al­ways want­i­ng to mar­ry oth­er Jews?
Brunette: I guess part of it is that the Jews have been per­se­cut­ed so much, so peo­ple want to make sure to per­pet­u­ate the race.
Blonde: Re­al­ly? Like who? Who per­se­cut­ed the Jews?
Brunette: Um… well… the Nazis.

–Sandy Hook, New Jer­sey