Archive for the ‘History’ Category

Though I Of­ten Doubt If They Are Worth It

Na­tive man: This is where Hawai­ians come to cel­e­brate a child’s first birth­day with a lu­au. All the fam­i­ly comes to have a three-day par­ty by the ocean.
Tourist: How did that get start­ed?
Na­tive man: To pro­tect the ba­bies from the mis­sion­ar­ies who loved to eat plump Hawai­ian ba­bies.
Tourist, shocked: That was­n’t in my tour book.
Na­tive man: It’s some­thing we keep qui­et to pro­tect the white mis­sion­ar­ies.

–Ko­ha­la, Hawaii

Over­heard by: BLondie

Pi­rates 2 Panned by Crit­ics; Deemed Too ‘Brainy,’ ‘Ref­er­en­tial’

20-Some­thing girl #1: Yeah, I fell asleep. It was a stu­pid movie! And that guy with the squid on his face, who was he, Medusa?
20-Some­thing girl #2: You mean Davy Jones?
20-Some­thing girl #1: Yeah. And I was like, what about The Mon­kees?
20-Some­thing girl #2: There weren’t any mon­keys.
20-Some­thing girl #1: You’re too young to re­mem­ber the Six­ties. Davy Jones was in the Mon­kees.
20-Some­thing girl #2: Um, Davy Jones the pi­rate came first. Haven’t you ever heard of Davy Jones’s lock­er?
20-Some­thing girl #1: I have ab­solute­ly no idea what you’re talk­ing about.

–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Mass­a­chu­setts

Hey, Was­n’t That Your Foot?

Stoned surfer #1: Hey, re­mem­ber that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was run­ning around with it and would­n’t let any­one have it? That was hi­lar­i­ous.
Stoned surfer #1: To­tal­ly.

–Boli­nas, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: did­n’t think it was hi­lar­i­ous then or now