Trendy Asian chick: I've seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well-dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.
–Newport Beach, California
Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category
Um, Officially I Was "Just Chubby" and My Daughter Is My Little Sister
Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That's why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren't you pregnant at 16?
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily
Doctors Surgically Removed Her Husband
Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.
–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan
Overheard by: Andrea
Venus De Milo Accepted Her Predicament With Customary Good Humor
Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Who You Calling a Beach?
Girl #1, shaking off sand: Oh, great, now I’m gonna have to take a shower.
Girl #2: I know, like, what’s with all the sand? Ugh, so annoying.
Girl #1: Are you serious? We’re at the beach.
Girl #2: Huh?
–Stinson Beach, California
Overheard by: einstein lives!
Ugh, You Sound Like My Girl Scout Troop Leader.
Girl to friend: You just took four Clonazepam. How are you not having a good time?
–Luna Park, Coney Island
On the Plus Side, Chemotherapy Makes You Throw Up
Woman: I really hate diets. I mean, I guess I could start smoking. But isn't that bad for your lungs or something?
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: something like that
Then I'll Run for Vice-President of the United States
Chubby middle-aged woman to her male friend: First thing I'm going to do is lose a lot of weight, then I'm gonna get a chemical peel…
–Smith Point, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: geo
They Are So Not Talking About the Same Guy
Girl #1: I don’t know what it is…I just think…
Girl #2: …He’s too nerdy?
Girl #1: No, but I think he might have herpes.
–Long Beach, California
What the Tooth Fairy Is Called, in Pragmatic Households
Worried teen: Oh no! The janitor lady cleaned up my tooth!
–Howard Park Beach, Tarpon Springs, Florida
Overheard by: CorLiz