Guy: Can you pass the ChapStick? Because “lip gloss” has the taint.
–Cambria, California
Overheard by: nadia
Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category
Those Aren’t Girls, Sir
American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?
–Cassis, France
And, for the Last Time, That’s Not a Scorpion Bite
30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You’re four years old! My legs don’t even hurt and I’m like three times your age!
–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York
Here’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to Explain
Girl #1: Dude, my retainer smells nasty!
Girl #2: Just put a little bleach on it.
Girl #1: Wouldn’t that kill me?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it will make your teeth whiter.
–Tampa, Florida
Is He Wearing a Patch or a Kippah?
Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We gotta get back to normal!“
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Sunny Reiser
Miss Labia Science Couldn’t Help Feeling Proud
Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!
–Block Island, Rhode Island
Overheard by: diorette
Newsflash: Mexican Dishwashing Skills Put to Use in Local Beautification Project
Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.
–Tulum, Mexico
Overheard by: Tulumbum
Bottom Line, Don’t Go Barefoot at the Beach
Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
You Mean ‘Danger’ in Your Vagina… And How Did You Know I Called It That?
Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?
–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Especially When You’re Screaming, ‘I’m Not Gayyyyyyyy!’
Queer: It turns out sleeping with a deaf guy is awesome!
–Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Chris Newcomer
