Frat boy #1: How did Steve squeeze past the crowd and order drinks so fast?
Frat boy #2: Oh, he takes yoga classes.
–South Beach bar, Miami, Florida
Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category
To Prove a Point: It’s Polite to Swallow, Miss Fastidious
Skinny girl: Yeah, but why does he always have to spit on me afterwards?
–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Overheard by: Grossed Out
When Kittens Socialize
10-year-old boy: We’re going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.
–Tampa, Florida
The Ocean’s Only for Crapping In
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Nothing Worse Than a Black Forest Caca
Kid, skateboarding in parking lot next door: I think those gummy worms gave me diarrhea.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jen
She Could Be a Piñata that Hasn’t Been Hung
Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.
–Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Hamish The Li
No, Honey, When Daddy Said He Had Immunity, It Was Because He Testified
Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.
–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jill
All of Western Medicine Is at Your Disposal
30-ish chick #1: Well, maybe your body is telling you that it’s time to have a baby.
30-ish chick #2: Well, maybe I’ll just tell my body to shut the fuck up.
–Jones Beach, New York
Ad: “Are You Irish Sprung?”
Drunk Spanish rock dude: This soap, it smells like penis.
–Santander, Spain
Overheard by: Murray
… While the Producers of Fear Factor Waited in the Wings with Hepatitis Innoculations
Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.
–Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: boxface
