Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category

I’m Look­ing to Up­grade

Woman walk­er #1: I would nev­er go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are al­ways wrin­kled, and he does­n’t show­er.
Woman walk­er #2: Ugh.
Woman walk­er #1: Be­sides, he smokes.
Woman walk­er #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walk­er #1: I know, but I nev­er date smok­ers.

–Lake Mi­ra­mar, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: El Meech

Ooo, and If We Went to the Hair­dress­er and Got Bangs…

Old­er la­dy #1: You know they have a hot stone mas­sage?
Old­er la­dy #2: Re­al­ly?
Old­er la­dy #1: Yeah! It sounds re­al­ly nice.
Old­er la­dy #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Mi­a­mi“
Old­er la­dy #1, laugh­ing: We could.
Old­er la­dy #2: No, but I ac­tu­al­ly want to get them and wear that shirt.

–El­emis Spa, Mi­a­mi Beach, Flori­da

It’s a Sell­er’s Mar­ket

Man #1: Hey, man, what you do­ing?
Man #2: Oh, noth­ing. Just watch­ing this whore get­ting a cus­tomer across the street.
Man #1: Huh? How do you know she’s a whore?
Man #2: ‘Cause we’ve been stand­ing here for about an hour and she’s been lean­ing against dif­fer­ent cars talk­ing, get­ting in, leav­ing, and com­ing back. Be­sides, she’s dressed like a whore.
Man #3: So are half the peo­ple here.

–Myr­tle Beach, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Les