Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn’t that when you eat too much white bread?
–Poolside, Perth, Australia
Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category
And the KGB.
Girl: I’m really allergic to bugs, so that’s why I’m scared of jellyfish.
–Destin, Florida
Overheard by: right, because jellyfish are just really big bugs
Does Anyone?
Excessively tan man: I don’t trust SPF 14 anyway.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Jo
And If You Swim Every Day, You Never Need to Bathe
Older rich man: I stopped using soap back in ’74. There’s a lot to be said for some hot water and a good scrub.
–Destin, Florida
Tequila-Induced Vomit Per Square Inch Didn’t Quite Make it Into Fodor’s
Girl, to her friend who has just dropped a tortilla: Five second rule!
Friend: I am not eating a fucking tortilla off the floor of Tijuana!
Several bystanders: We’re in Rosarito!
–Taco stand, Rosarito, Baja
That Sounds Like a Challenge
Guy: Oh, man, I’ve got salt in my penis now. That shit hurts.
Girl: I don’t really think it matters what goes in my vagina.
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: H K
Our Only Option Is Pit-Scissoring
Girl on phone: Did you go to my car yet? (pause) Shit, I wanted you to grab my deodorant. (pause) You have deodorant? (disgusted pause) I’m not going to use deodorant you just scraped off yourself!
–Coney Island, New York
Not New Jersey: In Other Words, ‘They’re Real’
Woman, talking about a topless sunbather: Is that a man?
Guy: No.
Woman: God, that is so not New Jersey.
–South Beach, Miami
Overheard by: Marty
It’s What Little Girls Are Made Of
Little girl: Mommy, what’s that red stuff in your bathing suit?
–Public bathroom, Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Arya
Mary Protected Jesus As Long As She Could
Little boy wearing rash guard: Mom, that little boy isn’t wearing a shirt.
Mom: Mmm-huh.
Little boy: Why doesn’t he have to wear a shirt?
Mom: Because his mom doesn’t love him, that’s why. He’ll get skin cancer and die.
–Salisbury Beach, Massachusetts
