50-something woman: My pee was sort of yellowish today!
Younger friend: (nods earnestly)
–Mission Valley, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thank Goodness!
Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category
On the Plus Side, Chemotherapy Makes You Throw Up
Woman: I really hate diets. I mean, I guess I could start smoking. But isn’t that bad for your lungs or something?
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: something like that
Those Two Kidneys Were Just Unsightly
Teenage girl #1: To make a long story short, she was pretty pissed that they removed the wrong one.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah… But either way it was probably an improvement.
–Huntington Beach, California
Well It Is a Dirty Photo.
White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That’s why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
That’s Not What “Swimmers Will Be Penalized” Means, Bobby.
Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?!
–Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: commodore
Tahitian Women: ‘There’s So Much More to Us Than That!’
Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.
–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon
Overheard by: Nicolien
But You Had a Kid, Mary!
Bitchy friend: … So then we took a vote, and you’re the biggest slut out of all of us.
Girl: But I’m the only virgin.
Bitchy friend: We know.
–Kingston Beach, Washington
Yes, It’s Important That They Be Well Educated
Jock: Don’t diabetics have to check their pH level?
–Long Beach, New York
Submitter Needs to Get Over Himself
Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: I’ll never swim again
So Cancer Is Just Your Body Trying to Get Back to the Womb?
Amateur oncologist: Having a baby? That’s like growing a tumor with a brain inside of you.
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: concerned citizens
