Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I’m cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I’m cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?
–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii
Mother: Danny, go ask those people for a lighter.
Son: Why, Mom?
Mother: So I can light my smoke, baby.
Son: I’m not your baby, and no! They are strange.
Mother: I’ll give you ten bucks.
Son: Okay!
–Shark’s Cove, Oahu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Hope
Bikini babe: She’s had sex before… but… like… only strap-on sex. So she’s totally a fake lesbian ’cause she still likes dick!
–Anna Bananas, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: just getting some beers
Four-year-old girl, playing with bucket in sand: Come play with us!
Four-year-old boy, barely looking up from his inflatable mattress: No, I’m working on my tan.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Beach guy #1: We need to find some slutty girls tonight.
Beach guy #2: Yeah, sluts are great for hangovers.
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jellyfish Jaq
Chubby man, kicking around the sand: Hey, have you guys seen a set of keys over here?
Asian girl: Um. No. Sorry.
Chubby man: Shit. I must have buried the car keys in the sand on accident. My wife’s gonna kill me.
Asian girl: I haven’t seen any keys, unfortunately.
Chubby man: Hey, do you think the beach has a Lost and Found box anywhere?
–Big Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Responsible Tourist
Boat captain: C’mon, we have to go. The tide’s coming in and the island’s gonna sink!
Gullible tourist: Okay.
(soon the tourist sees the island disappearing behind them on the horizon as the boat goes back to port)
Gullible tourist: You’re right! It’s sinking!
–Boat Tour, Hawaii
Loud woman, about sting rays: They have a six-foot wingspan of five to six feet.
–Sea Life Park, Honolulu, Hawaii
Woman #1: You really should have seen this guy’s boobs, they were huge.
Woman #2: So he needed a bra?
Man #1: A bro.
Man #2 (with hands on hips, triumphantly): A manzier!
Woman #1: What he needed was some testosterone!
–Hawaii
Overheard by: Festivus for the Rest of Us
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist