Little Miss Texas slathering on more baby oil: I don’t know why I’m gettin’ all these little wrinkles around my eyes, do y’all?
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Archive for the ‘Hawaii’ Category
Like the Platypus, and the Otter.
Little boy: Mommy, dolphins don’t have gills!
Mom: Yes they do, honey; all fishes have gills.
–Hawaii
Overheard by: Sarah
What Happens When You Give Your Number Out Too Often
Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?
–Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii
Just Brain Cells? Whew!
Guy on cell: Did you just say you killed somebody?!
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Overheard by: gavin
Newsflash: Pale, Fat Plague Strikes East Coast!
Girl #1: There are so many pale, fat guys here in Speedos.
Girl #2: It’s like they don’t care.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: It’s so not like this in America.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Because a Watched Sea Never Boils.
Enraptured girl, watching sunset with boyfriend: I just love it when the sun sinks into the sea like this! But I have a question…
Boy: Huh? What?
Girl, turning serious: Why doesn’t the sea boil?
–Kauai, Hawaii
Nobody Expected Wingtips
Hippie girl: Hey, how’s Stone?
Hippie guy: You know — he’s Stone… Oh, wait! He started wearing shoes!
Hippie girl: Well, that is a change!
–Maui, Hawaii
Though I Often Doubt If They Are Worth It
Native man: This is where Hawaiians come to celebrate a child’s first birthday with a luau. All the family comes to have a three-day party by the ocean.
Tourist: How did that get started?
Native man: To protect the babies from the missionaries who loved to eat plump Hawaiian babies.
Tourist, shocked: That wasn’t in my tour book.
Native man: It’s something we keep quiet to protect the white missionaries.
–Kohala, Hawaii
Overheard by: BLondie
But I Feel a Lot Higher Than That
Wifey turning from looking at ocean: This is so nice. What elevation are we at?
Hubby: … Seriously?
Wifey: Yes.
Hubby: Um… Sea level, honey.
Wifey: Oh. Yeah.
–Ka’anapali Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: D‑Rock
When Experimenting, It’s Important to Only Change One Variable at a Time
Girlfriend: Hey, do you know I heard down in Brazil they, like, mix sand in with their suntan lotion so that it exfoliates their skin?
Boyfriend: That’s fucking stupid.
Girlfriend: Tell me about it! I tried it last year and got a nasty rash. So this year I’m using sand and baby oil.
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Overheard by: Neeri
