Guy to woman: I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I'm not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I'm going to visit mom less often. –Manhattan Beach, New York
30-something Guido to pretty girl: Hey. I hear you're looking for a stud. I've got the STD, all I need is “u.” –Pacific Beach, California
20-something male, chasing after another with driftwood: Go back to the sea from whence you came! –Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass. –San Clemente Beach, California Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t! –Discovery Bay, California
Foreign girl: Hello. I just bought this bike. I need a special instrument to raise the seat. Can you help me?
Guy #1: We might. Do you need a wrench?
Foreign girl: Oh. I don’t know…[giggles]
Guy #2: Where are you from?
Foreign girl: Belarus.
Guy #1: Why did you decide to come to the US?
Foreign girl, excitedly: I came for work and pleasure! I work at Subway!
Guy #2: This is so stereotypical teen movie.
Foreign girl: Does that mean you can fix my bike?
Guy #1: Do you wanna come inside and get drunk with us? –5 Kings Row, Dewey Beach, Delaware
Beach guy #1: We need to find some slutty girls tonight.
Beach guy #2: Yeah, sluts are great for hangovers. –Waikiki Beach, Hawaii Overheard by: Jellyfish Jaq
Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up! –Bondi Beach, Australia Overheard by: GGary
Cute girl walking down the boardwalk: I’ve been stared at seven times already!
Random guy walking past: Eight. –Seaside Heights, New Jersey Overheard by: bonzo
Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian.
Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively.
Queer #2: Definitely!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm! Holds up sign that says “9.” Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!
Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breeder, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Latino guy a 9. What do you think we’re trying to imagine? –Sunset Beach, Florida Overheard by: MangoJoe