Girl #1: Our table looks lonely.
Girl #2: Why cause we have no friends?
Girl #1: No. Cause we have no drinks!
–Cuba
Overheard by: kiki
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
If You Turn Out to Be Gay
Little boy: I can’t believe we went under. I still have that taste in my mouth!
Dad: Get used to it. You’ll be tasting that your whole life.
–Horseneck Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kp & Cd
Lessons in Tolerance
Vendor: Hey, buy some pizza!
Chick: I don’t like bread.
Vendor: Then just eat the cheese!
Chick: I’m lactose-intolerant.
Vendor: Fro-zen yo-gurt!
–Venice Beach, California
From Cool Uncle to Creepy Uncle in Three Gimlets
Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!
–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California
Maybe Not. He Might Learn About Untraceable Poisons.
Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years.
–Folly Beach, South Carolina
People Pee in Bathrooms at the Beach?
Big mama in bathroom stall with daughter: Hurry up and pee!
Young girl: Mommy, I can’t pee with other people around!
Big mama: Honey, if and when you go to jail, you gonna hafta pee in front of other people.
–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Riley
I Find the Weight Of All That Gayness Oppressive
Woman, watching animal abuse commercial on Logo: I hate this commercial. This is why I don’t watch this channel. Well, this and all the gays.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Enjoys the gays
She’s Never Going to Let That One Go
Girl: You have to take your shoes off to walk in the sand.
Guy: I’ll wait until we find a spot.
Girl: What? Walking in the sand with your shoes is like fucking your mom and not cleaning up afterwards.
Guy: Okay, okay!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: JD
‘Cause, If So, It’s Totally Your Turn
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
Bring Me Grandchildren, Then We’ll See
Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
