Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
The Ocean's Only for Crapping In
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Bring Me Grandchildren, Then We'll See
Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
When Freckles Pop Up, It Means You're Done
Girl #1: I get so many freckles in the sun.
Girl #2: Yeah, I am so going to get cancer in 2 years. I have so much sun damage.
Girl #3: Um, actually freckles just mean that your skin is working.
–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jackie
What About the Facial You Can Just Wipe Off?
Tan chick: But if we go to the spa, I don’t want them to facial my tan away!
–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: hb
So My Strategy is to Throw Money at It and Run Away as Fast as I Can
Walker #1: So I think I am going to train for the LA marathon.
Walker #2: Really? What’s the cause?
Walker #1: Well, it’s for AIDS. Not that I have AIDS, nor know anyone who does.
Walker #2: Yeah, well, we all know AIDS is bad.
–Olympic & La Cienega Park, Los Angeles, California
You'd Think It'd Come Out Along with the Condom
Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.
–San Clemente Beach, California
Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid
A Portrait Of the Cat Lady As a Young Girl
Tween: The cute ones are not nice, the nice ones are not cute, and the cute & nice ones are gay.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Trixie
The Fertility Clinic's New Mascot Fails to Resonate with Focus Groups
Hipster chick: That sperm dude is so anal.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: excellent
Think of Me As the Consumer Reports of Sex
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California