Frat boy to buds: Dude, strippers look a lot different once you get them home.
–Grafton Lakes State Park, New York
Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category
Is He Wearing a Patch or a Kippah?
Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We gotta get back to normal!”
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Sunny Reiser
I Just Said It Would Make Me Happy
Man on cell: Well, I didn’t explicitly tell him to kill himself…
–Santa Cruz Boardwalk, California
But Then, So Have I
Man on cell: I know — she’s been a proper cunt since she got cancer.
–Freshwater West, Pembroke, Wales
Overheard by: Withy
If Nominated I Will Not Run, If Elected I Will Not Serve
Crazy lady: I told you, I don’t want to be the goddamn queen of Russia.
–Haystack Rock, Oregon
Overheard by: Luke
I Ran Out of Bag Balm (TM)
Man: I see you’ve caught the sun a bit!
Fat lady: No, that’s just chub-rub.
–Spain
Overheard by: Vertman
"Summer Lovin" from Grease, in a Nutshell
Bikini #1: And?
Bikini #2: And what?
Bikini #1: And what happened?
Bikini #2: We had sex.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Ggary
Other Than That, Just Vegged Out in My Sweats. Boooring!
Chick #1: So, what happened to you last night?
Chick #2: Um, I died.
–The Coffeehouse, Manteo, North Carolina
You Say This "Clitoris" Actually Has a Purpose?
Middle-aged woman to friend: Well, she had to get it long before she could use it.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Tim Berzins
Where's Jonah, Anyway?
20-ish guy: I looked over at Sharon and didn’t think she had any bottoms on. Then a wave lifted up her stomach, and I saw that she did.
–Old Lyme, Connecticut
Overheard by: Ann