Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Dude, Every­body Used to Wear Their Hair Like That

Sub­ur­ban man #1: What about Sam Adams?
Sub­ur­ban man #2: Ugh, I hate all Sam Adams beers. I would nev­er touch the stuff.
Sub­ur­ban man #1: Why?
Sub­ur­ban man #2: Well, Sam Adams was a gay man. And, well, I be­lieve in gay­ness, but I just don’t think gay peo­ple can make beer.

–Lake Waubee­ka, Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: Hame­tu­ka

Though I Of­ten Doubt If They Are Worth It

Na­tive man: This is where Hawai­ians come to cel­e­brate a child’s first birth­day with a lu­au. All the fam­i­ly comes to have a three-day par­ty by the ocean.
Tourist: How did that get start­ed?
Na­tive man: To pro­tect the ba­bies from the mis­sion­ar­ies who loved to eat plump Hawai­ian ba­bies.
Tourist, shocked: That was­n’t in my tour book.
Na­tive man: It’s some­thing we keep qui­et to pro­tect the white mis­sion­ar­ies.

–Ko­ha­la, Hawaii

Over­heard by: BLondie

It’s a Sell­er’s Mar­ket

Man #1: Hey, man, what you do­ing?
Man #2: Oh, noth­ing. Just watch­ing this whore get­ting a cus­tomer across the street.
Man #1: Huh? How do you know she’s a whore?
Man #2: ‘Cause we’ve been stand­ing here for about an hour and she’s been lean­ing against dif­fer­ent cars talk­ing, get­ting in, leav­ing, and com­ing back. Be­sides, she’s dressed like a whore.
Man #3: So are half the peo­ple here.

–Myr­tle Beach, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Les

Wore the Old One Out

Knife-scarred mus­cle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play check­ers and hope­ful­ly win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrab­ble and cheat! I just bought a new the­saurus.

–Coney Is­land, New York

Over­heard by: dono­van