Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Is He Wear­ing a Patch or a Kip­pah?

Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tu­mor and took it out. They still need to do a biop­sy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in busi­ness on Fri­day, still sell­ing herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We got­ta get back to nor­mal!“
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.

–Coney Is­land, New York

Over­heard by: Sun­ny Reis­er

Every Four-Year-Old Knows a Teenag­er Like This

Four-year-old camper: Do you got a car?
14-year-old coun­selor: Uh, I can’t dri­ve.
Four-year-old camper: So does your mom bring you here?!
14-year-old coun­selor: Yeah. I mean, I live in El Cer­ri­to.
Four-year-old camper: But does that mean you live with your mom or some­thing? Aren’t you in col­lege?!
14-year-old coun­selor: Well, the truth is my li­cense was re­voked af­ter I ran over those aliens. The FBI was an­gry be­cause they need­ed to talk to them about the plans for the Unit­ed States em­bassy on Mars, but it has to be kept hush-hush since the North Ko­re­ans may be on to them.
Four-year-old camper: Ohhh…