Girl #1: I mean, I could force a relationship right now. I just don’t want to.
Girl #2: Uh-huh.
Girl #1: We really don’t have that much in common.
Girl #2: Uh-huh.
–Dewey Beach, Rehoboth, Delaware
Overheard by: Alaina
Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category
Another Great Time-Killer? “Pregnant or Fat?”
Daughter: Sorry I’m late.
Mom: That’s okay. We were playing ‘Tourist or not?’ with the passersby. Look — those two — obviously tourists.
Daughter: Oh, kinda like when I play ‘Jew or not?’ when I get bored.
–Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: Jew tourist
I Ran Out of Bag Balm ™
Man: I see you’ve caught the sun a bit!
Fat lady: No, that’s just chub-rub.
–Spain
Overheard by: Vertman
Better, I Suppose, Than ‘Her Boobs Were Kind of Saggy So She Just Tucked Them Into Her Shorts.’
Woman: Her shorts were kinda baggy so she just tucked them under her boobs.
–Warren Dunes, Michigan
Overheard by: Syd O’Banion
Like I Don’t Have Enough Star Trivia to Memorize?
Teenage girl: Rosie O’Donnell has multiple personality disorder.
Friend: I thought she was a lesbian.
–Starbucks, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: …Which are mutually exclusive.
You’re Old Enough to Know Heroin Goes in the Eyeball!
Mom to kid: Shooting it up my ass?! Not a good idea!
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laura L. Davis
And Lived Happily Ever After
20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…
–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida
So They Both Just Lie There?
Girl #1: I was talking to Jess* the other day. She’s been home for a while.
Girl #2: Isn’t she a lesbian now?
Girl #1: Yeah, she was with her girlfriend, Michelle, who was really nice and really hot.
Girl #2: So, Jess is like the boy, right?
Girl #1: No. They are both girls.
–St. Kilda Beach, Australia
Overheard by: one of those lesbians who dates boys
Dude, That Is the Shittiest Ghost Story in the Whole World
Dude: … So I’m, like, sitting there and she just keeps staring at me! So you know what I did? I threw my pizza crust at her forehead… And she started to bleed! I mean, that was some hard pizza crust, man! And you know what did said? Nothing! She just kept staring!
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Dude, Everybody Used to Wear Their Hair Like That
Suburban man #1: What about Sam Adams?
Suburban man #2: Ugh, I hate all Sam Adams beers. I would never touch the stuff.
Suburban man #1: Why?
Suburban man #2: Well, Sam Adams was a gay man. And, well, I believe in gayness, but I just don’t think gay people can make beer.
–Lake Waubeeka, Connecticut
Overheard by: Hametuka
