Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Wore the Old One Out

Knife-scarred muscle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play checkers and hopefully win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrabble and cheat! I just bought a new thesaurus.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: donovan

Focus — We're Trashing People Here

Biotech #1: Wow. Did you see his new girlfriend over there?
Biotech #2: Yeah. She’s got cottage cheese legs.
Bimbette: Really? Where is she? Is she fat?
Biotech #2: It’s not that she’s fat, it’s just that… well… she’s built like a linebacker.
Bimbette, looking in opposite direction: Hey, look — volleyball!

–Hamburg Beach, Germany

Is He Wearing a Patch or a Kippah?

Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We gotta get back to normal!”
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Sunny Reiser