Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Dude, Everybody Used to Wear Their Hair Like That

Suburban man #1: What about Sam Adams?
Suburban man #2: Ugh, I hate all Sam Adams beers. I would never touch the stuff.
Suburban man #1: Why?
Suburban man #2: Well, Sam Adams was a gay man. And, well, I believe in gayness, but I just don’t think gay people can make beer.

–Lake Waubeeka, Connecticut

Overheard by: Hametuka

Is He Wearing a Patch or a Kippah?

Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We gotta get back to normal!“
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Sunny Reiser

Every Four-Year-Old Knows a Teenager Like This

Four-year-old camper: Do you got a car?
14-year-old counselor: Uh, I can’t drive.
Four-year-old camper: So does your mom bring you here?!
14-year-old counselor: Yeah. I mean, I live in El Cerrito.
Four-year-old camper: But does that mean you live with your mom or something? Aren’t you in college?!
14-year-old counselor: Well, the truth is my license was revoked after I ran over those aliens. The FBI was angry because they needed to talk to them about the plans for the United States embassy on Mars, but it has to be kept hush-hush since the North Koreans may be on to them.
Four-year-old camper: Ohhh…

–California