Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

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Girl with textbook: What’s the capital of the United States?
Boy: Washington, DC?
Girl with textbook: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with textbook: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Island?

–New York

And That’s How Johnny Cash Got the Idea for ‘Delia’s Gone’

Little sister: Bury me! Bury me!
Big brother: No, I can’t marry you. That’d be disgusting.
Little sister: BURY me!
Big brother: No, no, I can’t marry you! Stop it!
Little sister: I said BURY me, stupid!

–Orchard Beach, New York

Overheard by: Anais Borg-Marks

Unlike All You Nasty Boys

Girl to friend: It’s so hot. I’m icing my nipples, and they’re not even getting erect.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Yep, it’s really that hot

A Suck for Breakfast, a Suck for Lunch, and a Sensible Dinner

Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]

–South Beach Florida

Uh, Because He Did That Porno After High School

Teen girl #1: Why the hell are we here?
Teen girl #2: Because we have nothing better to do.
Teen girl #1: Wait… why didn’t we call that guy who did that porno after high school? He’ll do us both.

–Ashwaubomay Lake, Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Lacy Magnolia

…We’ve Demuzed Ourselves with This Conversation Long Enough.

Girl #1: Yeah, it’s totally going to be my de-mice.
Girl #2: De-mice?
Girl #1: De-meese?
Girl #2: What? Demise?
Girl #1: Whatever.

–Virginia Beach

This Year’s Celebrity Apprentice Really Lacks Focus

Girl: So, I’ve finally decided what I want to do in life. I’m done with modeling. I am going to create a product, and sell it for charity.
Guy: Oh, that’s cool. What’s the charity?
Girl: I haven’t decided yet. I’m still working on it.
Guy: Oh, okay.
Girl: I need to decide on the product too.

–Miami Beach, Florida