…With an Expandable Panel in Front.

Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing

…And a Much Better Pickpocket.

Tall skinny blonde with small Yorkie in her lap: I think she's become a better person since I've been friends with her.

–LaJolla, California

We'll Never Understand Australian Pillowtalk

Girl: How do *you* know the spaceship isn't the entrance to my entertainment centre?

–Adelaide, Australia

Overheard by: T

That Depends on How Much They're Willing to Spend Marketing the DVD

Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!

–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota

The Perils Of Early Childhood Exposure to Pinky and the Brain

Girl #1: Seriously, what are we going to do?
Girl #2: Take over the world?

–Boynton Beach, Florida

That, and the Ben Franklin Wig

Drunk white guy: Girl, I love you. You remind me of my friends from Philly!
Sober black girl: Why? Cause I'm black?
Drunk white guy: Yes. (pause) I felt you deserved an honest answer!

–Port Hueneme, California

Overheard by: honesty is the best policy

The Ocean's Only for Crapping In

Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: I prefer the toilet

…Although We Still Won't Be All There.

Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we're there, because I figure by the time we get there we'll be there.

–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia

Yeah, Congratulations on Having Unprotected Prison Sex

Girl #1: Hey! I'm suprised you're even alive after last night!
Girl #2: Barely…and if Sharon realizes that there is a two-hour period where she doesn't know where Aaron and I were, Rikki's gonna be really mad… She's already mad and she has no idea what happened.
Girl #1: What? Why, what the hell happened when I went to bed?
Girl #2: Well, Sharon thinks Aaron and I were just cuddling since it was such a small bed we were sharing and that I just felt bad that he had to sleep on the floor, but Rikki is really convinced we hooked up.
Girl #1: Well, did you?
Girl #2: Obviously, but we were in Dan's room instead, so she doesn't even know what she's talking about… Wait, you're not mad I hooked up with him, are you?
Girl #1: God, no! I'm proud that you managed to do it in a cottage that small and no one knew! I was against your wall and I had no idea! High five!

–Wasaga Beach, Canadia

Overheard by: I'm Proud Too

…and Some Change for the Pay Phone?

Hobo: Got any spare change?
Attractive girl: No, sorry.
Hobo: How about a phone number?