Little girl staring at a plastic bag washing up on the beach: Ewww! Don’t let that touch me!
Mom: Don’t worry, honey. It can’t hurt you. It’s just a Jersey jellyfish.
–Union Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Brian
Archive for the ‘Geography’ Category
Downtown from the South Bronx
Chick: So, you live in the city? Wow, where do you live, downtown?
Thug kid: Yeah, downtown… Well, not exactly downtown. Harlem.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: alison
Another Fake Place
Guy #1: You're from Kazakhstan? Isn't that where Borat is from?
Guy #2: Yes.
Guy #1: I thought that place was fake. I didn't know it was a real place.
Guy #2: Borat is from England.
–Miami Beach
How Do You Know that isn't Ted Kennedy?
Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoculars or something.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you always shut me down when I have an opinion? I’m entitled to it! How do you know you couldn’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an island in the way.
–Kennebunk Beach, Maine
No, that was Tokyo — Tampa is 'Dirty Sanchezes'
Guy #1: Oh, shit, I just realized we’re in Tampa!
Guy #2: So?
Guy #1: Tampa!
Guy #2: Oh, bukkake, right?
–St. Petersburg Beach, Florida
No, It's Actually for Vacationers Who Need a Change of Pace
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Yeah, Along With Some Weird Pink Money with Birds and Queens on it
Police officer: You’re under arrest for underage drinking in public.
American teen: But they’re from Canada, officer!
Police officer: Got any marijuana in your purse?
–Sandestin, Florida
Overheard by: proudcanadian
No, Honey, When Daddy Said He Had Immunity, It Was Because He Testified
Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.
–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jill
She Has No Idea How Awkward Her First Sexual Experience Is Going to Be
Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.
–Nova Siri, Italy
Overheard by: only other american in the place
In the Same Way That Televangelists Heal
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida