Elderly lady: Come now, y’all! Key West is gonna be loads of fun! They gots the Ripley’s and Cuban people!
–Lido deck, The Carnival Glory, Key West
Overheard by: y’all need an icepack on dat thang?
Archive for the ‘Geography’ Category
I Hoped Your Father Would Tell You About This
Child: Mommy, do the fish come from the ocean or the country club?
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Let's Go Find the Slot Machine Your Mother's Tied to
Kid, looking out at the Atlantic ocean: Is that the ocean?
Dad: I think it's one of the great lakes.
–Boardwalk, Atlantic City, New Jersey
You Must Be at Least This Smart to Go Near the Water
Tourist mom: Can you rent a boat at the lake down there?
Employee: Um, no. And that's the Pacific ocean.
–Coffee Shop, Carmel Beach, California
Probably Because It's Only a Hundred Miles From Maryland
Girl #1: She wants me to move to Philadelphia after college, because she has family in Pennsylvania and she wants to visit me.
Girl #2: Why would she want you to move to Philadelphia and not Pennsylvania?
–Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: MBD
Ooo, Ashes Of Dead Mouseketeers. Luxurious!
Idiot dad: You know they import all this sand from Florida, that's why it's so soft.
Idiot son: Yeah, I've heard that too.
–Newcomb Hollow Beach, Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Alana Geary
Point Taken
Meathead: Dude! Your trunks, they're too short.
Hot dude wearing 80s trunks: Dude! This is America, I can wear whatever I want.
Meathead: This is not America. This is New Jersey!
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Um, Aren't You Guys Supposed to Be Saying Your Vows?
Beach wedding guest #1: Why is it so fucking hot here? Don't they have any shade for us to sit under?
Beach wedding guest #2: This better be fast. They don't want me all sweaty at the reception.
Beach wedding guest #1: Fucking Florida. I can't wait to get back to Michigan. And real weather.
–Captiva Island, Florida
…We'll Come Down From the Acid
German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…
–Los Angeles, California
No, Let's Talk More about the Cheese
Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.
–Virginia Beach