Girl with textbook: What's the capital of the United States?
Boy: Washington, DC?
Girl with textbook: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with textbook: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Island?
–New York
Archive for the ‘Geography’ Category
No, It's Actually for Vacationers Who Need a Change of Pace
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Downtown from the South Bronx
Chick: So, you live in the city? Wow, where do you live, downtown?
Thug kid: Yeah, downtown… Well, not exactly downtown. Harlem.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: alison
In the Same Way That Televangelists Heal
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
So Much for the 'Little Black Dress You Can Wear Anywhere'
Angry Texan guy being turned away at door: Pants? Pants? Who brings pants to Mexico?
–Formal restaurant, Cancun, Mexico
Overheard by: sheila
Payback's a Bitch
Saggy-drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy-drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet?
–Tela Beach, Honduras
Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume
No, that was Tokyo — Tampa is 'Dirty Sanchezes'
Guy #1: Oh, shit, I just realized we’re in Tampa!
Guy #2: So?
Guy #1: Tampa!
Guy #2: Oh, bukkake, right?
–St. Petersburg Beach, Florida
No, Honey, When Daddy Said He Had Immunity, It Was Because He Testified
Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.
–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jill
Making Me the Perfect Complement to Any Outfit
College kid: But I was conceived in Florida, so that means I'm neutral!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
I Hear that's Why Hemingway Stayed for So Long
Elderly lady: Come now, y’all! Key West is gonna be loads of fun! They gots the Ripley’s and Cuban people!
–Lido deck, The Carnival Glory, Key West
Overheard by: y’all need an icepack on dat thang?