Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
Idiot dad: You know they import all this sand from Florida, that’s why it’s so soft.
Idiot son: Yeah, I’ve heard that too.
–Newcomb Hollow Beach, Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Alana Geary
Older woman: You don’t remember me, do you?
Young woman: Nope.
Older woman: You lived next door to me when you lived with your aunt in Salem!
Young woman: Salem?
Older woman: Salem, New Hampshire.
Young woman: I don’t have an aunt in Salem.
Older woman: Oh, come on, don’t you remember?
Young woman: I never lived in New Hampshire. I have lived in Maine my whole life.
Older woman, sarcastically: Yeah…Okay.
–Wells Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Vee-licious
Child: Mommy, do the fish come from the ocean or the country club?
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Greek man: You are so white! Why are you so white?
Pale girl: I’m from England.
–Stalis, Crete
Overheard by: Another pale girl
Girl with textbook: What’s the capital of the United States?
Boy: Washington, DC?
Girl with textbook: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with textbook: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Island?
–New York
Dad: What grows in the marsh, baby?
Little girl: Marshmallows?
Dad, to mom: You want her to go to what college?
–Tybee Island, Georgia
Overheard by: Sullivan
Weasel on cell: I’m in Brooklyn now, so it will have to wait until later…
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Local
German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…
–Los Angeles, California
Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.
–Virginia Beach
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
