Beach wedding guest #1: Why is it so fucking hot here? Don't they have any shade for us to sit under?
Beach wedding guest #2: This better be fast. They don't want me all sweaty at the reception.
Beach wedding guest #1: Fucking Florida. I can't wait to get back to Michigan. And real weather.
–Captiva Island, Florida
German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…
–Los Angeles, California
Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.
–Virginia Beach
Girl: Excuse me, what lake is this?
Street vendor: The Atlantic one.
–Portland, Maine
Driver, turning off radio and looking back: You know you live in a shitty neighborhood when you can't tell if the sirens are coming from outside or your gangster rap cd.
–Sulphur Springs, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Killsborough
Teenage girl: Aw, look at the little kid. He's digging a hole to nowhere. How cute!
Teenage boy, completely serious: He's digging to China, you stupid bitch!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Marie
Chubby guy to sister: Sand is rocks that disintegrated over time because of volcanoes.
–The Dunes, Michigan
Girl #1: So, I want to move somewhere cool and foreign.
Girl #2: Yeah, that would be great. Where?
Girl #1: I dunno, somewhere like San Francisco or Australia.
Girl #2: That would be so cool.
–Mission Bay, San Diego, California
Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?
–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia
Man, walking with friend on pier, pointing at full moon reflecting water: In Hawaii, you see the stars reflecting in the water.
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: Janelle