Archive for the ‘Gays & Lesbians’ Category

They’re Try­ing to Imag­ine a Black Dude, Ob­vi­ous­ly

Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s an­oth­er one. He’s white, and the oth­er looks Asian.

Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” re­spec­tive­ly.

Queer #2: Def­i­nite­ly!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Lati­no. Yum­m­mm!

Holds up sign that says “9.”

Queer #2: Oh, yes. To­tal­ly!
Straight girl, walk­ing by: What are you two do­ing? Com­par­ing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breed­er, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Lati­no guy a 9. What do you think we’re try­ing to imag­ine?

–Sun­set Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Man­go­Joe

If I Do You, Will You Be Nice to Me?

Girl: So, out of all the peo­ple in this cir­cle, who have you been sex­u­al­ly in­volved with?
Queer: Does peck­ing count?
Girl: Yes.

Queer points at every­one.

Girl 1: You man-whore! So, if peck­ing does­n’t count, who have you done any­thing with?
Queer: Every­one ex­cept her.
Girl: So you’re still a whore.

–Cen­ten­ni­al Beach, British Co­lum­bia, Cana­dia

Over­heard by: shut­ter­bug

You Were Lis­ten­ing to Cold­play

Teen boy: Fuck­ing fag­gots!
Queer: How can he tell I’m gay?
Les­bo: How can he tell I’m a les­bian? What, do we ex­ude a flam­boy­ant­ly-ho­mo­sex­u­al au­ra or some­thing? Fuck, we’re cud­dling with a mem­ber of the op­po­site gen­der, and peo­ple still know we’re gay! Damn, it’s like P.E. class all over again.

–Delta, British Co­lum­bia, Cana­dia