Frat boy #1: How did Steve squeeze past the crowd and order drinks so fast?
Frat boy #2: Oh, he takes yoga classes.
–South Beach bar, Miami, Florida
Frat boy #1: How did Steve squeeze past the crowd and order drinks so fast?
Frat boy #2: Oh, he takes yoga classes.
–South Beach bar, Miami, Florida
Frat guy trying to get to house behind closed gate: Dude, what the hell?
Teen girl on balcony across street: Boy, to open that gate you gotta’ open yo’ legs!
–Seaside, Florida
Random high school girl: So then I looked at her and said, “Shit, bitch, what’s your fucking problem?“
Random high school guy: Were they Mexican?
Girl: Uh-huh.
Guy: Well, were they sexy Mexicans?
Girl: Yes, deary, they were Sexicans.
–Rat Beach, California
Overheard by: where can i find them?
Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I’m gonna piss all over your pussy.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
College guy, passing campus soccer field: Kick those balls, girl!
–Long Beach, California
Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There’s no way he didn’t know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: The WC
Frat boy: So, you guys are going back to the room? I think I’m gonna stay here a little — have another beer, then go take a shower. Beer and a shower. That’s how I roll.
–Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
Overheard by: That’s Not How I Roll
20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…
–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida
College student to friend: I watch less porn when I have a girlfriend…I don’t know why.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist