Drunk woman at bar: I mean, we had so much in common, you know? He liked red meat, I liked red meat… It was a good relationship.
–Long Beach, California
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
If You Listen Closely, You Can Hear Her Brain Going Snap, Crackle, Pop
Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…
–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: i like rice krispies
It's Not the Content But the Style That Suggests This Kid Has a Future in Musical Theater
Small boy, carrying bag: Fudge! The wonderful joy of fudge!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Where Would Human Civilization Be Without That Phrase?
Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It's done, there's nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That's what he said.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tara
A Blonde Twin
40-something guy: That must be like an all-you-can-eat salad bar of STDs!
60-something guy: She’s a twin.
–Pancake House, Redondo Beach, California
Why I Dropped Out Of My Cupcake-Eating Master's Program After Only Half a Semester
Guy: Why do you have a wooden fork?
Girl: First of all, because it's biodegradable; and second, it's hard to eat a cupcake.
–Sprinkles, Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: M
A Suck for Breakfast, a Suck for Lunch, and a Sensible Dinner
Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]
–South Beach Florida
…Though I Guess the Cow Also Works.
Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one's for you cuz it's got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the one with a bitch on it for you?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
I Adore When Cows Eat Me, Though.
Stoned surfer: I decided that I won't eat fish anymore, because if I don't eat them, they won't eat me.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
His Wife Split with It
Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?
–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii