Teen to promoter throwing Halloween candy: Bitch, gimme somma dem fuckin' dots!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
Reality– the Ultimate Reality Show
Stoned girl #1: You know what's awesome? If you look up, you see the moon and the stars, and it's like you're looking at space.
Stoned girl #2 (munching Parmesan crackers): Whoooaaa.
–Saint Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: i was stoned and it sounded cool at the time, too.
Why Does This Restaurant Hate Freedom?
Waitress: Do you want cheddar, mozzarella, or Swiss on your burger?
Customer: Um… American?
–The Purple Parrot, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Hollywood
…According to That Cosmo Quiz
Over-tanned lady to beach bum eating plum: I would rather drink shower water than eat unwashed fruit.
–Ala Moana Center, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jade Buddha
Republicans: See? See?!
Teenage girl: I love carbs! I would marry them if eating your spouse was legal!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Have You Donated Money to War-Torn Soy Sauce Yet?
Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?
–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia
…Which Was Not Very Ladylike.
Woman sitting at beach with friends: I saw a ladybug in my salad and I ate that shit! It was giving me the finger…
–Riis Beach, New York
Weirdest. Carnival Game, Ever.
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
But Then I Stopped Pretending
Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.
–Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida
How about 'Letters that Start with the Letter N'?
Teen girl #1: Pick a vegetable!
Teen girl #2: I know mine — tomato!
Teen girl #3: Dumbass, a tomato’s a fruit. Choose again.
Teen girl #2: Ginger!
Teen girl #1: Should I pick an easier category?
–Emerald Isle, North Carolina