English girl reading menu: Oh my god. What? It’s all in foreign!
–Beach cafe, Northern France
Overheard by: Jess
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
I Adore When Cows Eat Me, Though.
Stoned surfer: I decided that I won’t eat fish anymore, because if I don’t eat them, they won’t eat me.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Why I Dropped Out Of My Cupcake-Eating Master’s Program After Only Half a Semester
Guy: Why do you have a wooden fork?
Girl: First of all, because it’s biodegradable; and second, it’s hard to eat a cupcake.
–Sprinkles, Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: M
Can Ground Pigs’ Rectum Ever Really Spoil?
Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…
–Lake Tahoe, California
God, I Miss Roseanne
20-something woman #1: She was bitching about how there was nothing to eat in the house, and so Bob* said, “you could go to the store,” and she said, “I don’t go to the store on my vacation. There are two things I don’t do on vacation: go to the store and cook.“
20-something woman #2: What is she even on vacation from? Sitting on her ass?
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Key West Is Famous for Its Two-Legged Appetite Suppressant
Man with no pants to girls leaving bar: Leaving so soon?
Girl: Uh, yeah…we’re hungry. We’re gonna go get some food.
Man with no pants: Why? There’s plenty of sausages right here!
–Garden of Eden Bar, Key West, Florida
Overheard by: K
But Everyone Knows It’s Minerals That Are the Real Challenge
Man: It was really impressive to do that with vegetables.
–Weymouth, Dorset, United Kingdom
Overheard by: Carolyn & Clare
Professional Fluffer?
Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!
–Seaside, Oregon
Overheard by: Arianne
But You Had to Get All Pissy about that Whole Rape Thing
Girl #1: Hey, see those guys we went out on the date with that time?
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: Up there with the big-ass cooler and grill. I told you we shoulda gone out on another date with them. We coulda been up there drinkin’ beer and eating hot dog right now.
–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas
Overheard by: d
Leave Your Sister Alone, Honey — She Had a Hard Night
12-year-old girl: Mom! She’s throwing up pickles in the pool!
–Ixtapa, Mexico
