Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

There Are No Poi­so­nous Cows, Mom

Lit­tle boy point­ing to porta­bel­la mush­room: Mom­my, what’s that?
Tired moth­er: It’s a mush­room. Some­day I’m go­ing to make you a ham­burg­er for din­ner, but in­stead of meat, it’s go­ing to have one of those mush­rooms in it.
Lit­tle boy look­ing back at mush­room, ter­ri­fied: Why would you do that?!

–Beach­side Pro­duce Plus, Mel­bourne Beach, Flori­da

Your Ed­i­tors Have Paid Ex­tra for Tit­ty Gum– True Sto­ry

Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
An­noy­ing girl: Yeah, I do… You can’t have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don’t want that! It’s tit­ty gum.
An­noy­ing girl: It’s not tit­ty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your tit­ties?
Brunette girl, look­ing down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!