Thin girl ordering funnel cake: I want so much powdered sugar on it that I don’t want to be able to see the dough!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
No, Dude! You Tell Her You Have a Permanent Banana She Can Have for Free!
Banana vendor: Bananas… Bananas… Two for a dollar! Bananas…
Topless girl in string bikini bottom: But I just need one…
Banana vendor: Why don’t you eat the other one?
–South Korea
‘Do What Thou Wilt,’ I Told It
Lady: I am completely at peace with my salad.
–Manteo, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah J
But Everyone Knows It’s Minerals That Are the Real Challenge
Man: It was really impressive to do that with vegetables.
–Weymouth, Dorset, United Kingdom
Overheard by: Carolyn & Clare
How They Make the World’s Most Expensive Coffee
Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!
–Florence, Oregon
Overheard by: Johm
Then You Shouldn’t Be Dating Martha Stewart
Teen Girl: I can’t eat this ice cream.
Bruster’s Employee: Why not?
Teen Girl: Because it’s frozen in the middle.
Bruster’s Employee: It’s ice cream.
Teen Girl: I know, but it’s frozen in the middle and I can’t eat it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
There Are No Poisonous Cows, Mom
Little boy pointing to portabella mushroom: Mommy, what’s that?
Tired mother: It’s a mushroom. Someday I’m going to make you a hamburger for dinner, but instead of meat, it’s going to have one of those mushrooms in it.
Little boy looking back at mushroom, terrified: Why would you do that?!
–Beachside Produce Plus, Melbourne Beach, Florida
Ad: Got Grandma?
Adult son to mom: Thanks for babysitting the kids, ma. You know why I love you?
Rockin granny: Cuz I breastfed you for 12 years?
Ten year old grandson: Oh my god!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Leave Your Sister Alone, Honey — She Had a Hard Night
12-year-old girl: Mom! She’s throwing up pickles in the pool!
–Ixtapa, Mexico
Your Editors Have Paid Extra for Titty Gum– True Story
Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
Annoying girl: Yeah, I do… You can’t have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don’t want that! It’s titty gum.
Annoying girl: It’s not titty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your titties?
Brunette girl, looking down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!
–Canadia
