Little old lady, stumbling on the boardwalk with her husband: Oh my goodness! There’s no railing on the edge? What? Someone could just fall right off! If they were as drunk as me, anyways.
–Key West, Florida
Overheard by: Caroline Oldfield
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
I Find the Weight Of All That Gayness Oppressive
Woman, watching animal abuse commercial on Logo: I hate this commercial. This is why I don’t watch this channel. Well, this and all the gays.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Enjoys the gays
Thank Goodness Our Parachute Opened
Queer: … And when he finished on my ass he said, ‘Hold on,’ and took a step backward and did a back flip!
–St. Augustine Beach, Florida
Mom Rates Them on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it’s really getting annoying, I’m like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
Didn’t RoboCop Destroy the Place?
Old man: I think it’s too late to swim, the oil is washing up on the beach.
Old woman: Yeah, it’s too late for a lot of things now.
Old man: We should move back to Detroit. It’s less polluted.
Old woman: I don’t want to die in Detroit. Remember, we had this conversation already.
–Pier, St Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
The Outdoors Is Bigger Than I Could Have Imagined
Lady to friends: Wow! This is a lot of sand!
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Courtney
‘Cause, If So, It’s Totally Your Turn
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
What Would It Cost to Rent It?
40-something guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Chick in bikini: Oh, I have a long list of things…
40-something guy: Stripper?
Chick in bikini, hardly offended: Do I look like I have the body of a stripper?
40-something guy: That’s why I asked.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Bring Me Grandchildren, Then We’ll See
Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
But Mummy, I’m Too Old to Nurse in Public!
British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I’m giving it to charity!
–Miami Beach, Florida
