Little girl: Are you a mom? You look like a mom.
College student: No. How old do you think I am?
Little girl: Fifteen?
–Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: MBD
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
Where Reality Show Contestants Come From: Explained.
20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I’d say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”
–Siesta Key, Florida
Sometimes He Claps with Them!
Drunk dude to another: Yeah, my dad has really big thighs!
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Overheard by: i dont know
Ima Bust a Cap in the Damn Space-Time Continuum, Nome Sayin’?
Thug #1: It don’t feel like Sunday.
Thug #2: Yo, it don’t feel like a day of the week.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: monkeybaba
Hey, I’ve Seen You Eat Molten Chocolate Cake
Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you’re having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?
–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.
…But That Was So Anticlimactic!
Girl, after spilling white lotion on the ground: I didn’t think it would come… Out.
–Tampa, Florida
Oh, Tommy Lee, They Can See Your Penis from Space
Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?
–Flagler Beach, Florida
Overheard by: the nearest sunbather
Follow the Rising Sun until You Can’t Breathe
Man looking at the Atlantic: So where’s the ocean?
–Cocoa Beach Pier, Florida
Well, Do You Have a Gerbil and a Teeny Tiny Miner’s Hat?
Guy on cell, sighing: What are you gonna do, y’know? I mean, besides putting a flashlight in your vagina… Too bad.
–Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: TK
Things Went Fine Until She Saw Some Menacing Seaweed
Tourist mom to kids, upon seeing dolphins: Get out of the water! Go, now! Get out! [After seeing everyone else getting in and swimming out.] Never mind, get back in.
–Treasure Island, Florida
Overheard by: Native Floridian
