White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That’s why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
Only Novice Hoboes Think Panhandling’s About Logic
Hobo to group of girls holding a balloon: Hey! That balloon be blue. My name is blue. Gimme a dollar.
–Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Brittaney
All We Asked Was, “Which Way Is North?”
Big-boobed lady to a man’s wife: Yes, they’re real. Would you like to feel for yourself? You’re staring at them more than your husband is.
–New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Overheard by: trying not to make like I was listening
The Discovery Channel’s “Seaweed Week” Failed to Catch On
20-ish girl to sister: I think a shark just brushed up against my foot! [Everyone nearby stares.] Oops. I think I said that a little loud. False alert, everyone — it was just some seaweed!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
On Jerry Springer It’s Never Out
Girl on cell: Don’t be worried! Incest is totally in this season.
–Tampa, Florida
And Driving. I Really Like the Driving. And Yelling.
Guy driving by, yelling out the window: I like sex!!
Same guy driving by a minute later: I like sex!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Here’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to Explain
Girl #1: Dude, my retainer smells nasty!
Girl #2: Just put a little bleach on it.
Girl #1: Wouldn’t that kill me?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it will make your teeth whiter.
–Tampa, Florida
So I’m Tighter with Radiohead Than with You!
Man on cell: We met at a bar and went on one date… You don’t even know me! You haven’t even seen my MySpace page!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Greg
Just Breathe a Little Water and We’re Good
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn’t have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin’ someone in the ding-dong ain’t gonna kill them.
Man: It might.
–Destin, Florida
Southern Pageant Judges Do Not Fuck Around.
Attitude woman: The one with the most gets crowned King or Queen.
Flippant woman: Okay, crowns sure, but the part about being drenched in pig blood and killing everyone in the gymnasium remains unspoken.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: nan moran
