Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category

How Do You Know that is­n’t Ted Kennedy?

Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoc­u­lars or some­thing.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you al­ways shut me down when I have an opin­ion? I’m en­ti­tled to it! How do you know you could­n’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an is­land in the way.

–Ken­neb­unk Beach, Maine

Dude, I Think She’s Ad­ver­tis­ing!

Pre­teen boy #1, whis­per­ing to pal: Dude! Look at that girl ly­ing over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Pre­teen boy #2, whis­per­ing back: Qui­et… Damn!
Pre­teen boy #1: What’s that stick­ing out?
Pre­teen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Pre­teen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.

–Padre Is­land, Texas