Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category

Maybe Be­cause the Fi­ancé Al­ready Had Her Fist in It

20-Some­thing chick #1: So Brad and I went up to the moun­tains with his friend Greg and Greg’s fi­ancé. Brad and Greg went out to un­pack the car, and she and I just start­ed go­ing at it.
30-Some­thing chick #2: You guys were mak­ing out?
30-Some­thing chick #1: It was way in­tense.
30-Some­thing chick #2: Wow.
30-Some­thing chick #1: Then Brad and Greg came back in the house, and Greg start­ed, like, to­tal­ly freak­ing out. I mean, he just was­n’t, like…feeling my open­ness!

–San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: gefilte­pez

There Are No Poi­so­nous Cows, Mom

Lit­tle boy point­ing to porta­bel­la mush­room: Mom­my, what’s that?
Tired moth­er: It’s a mush­room. Some­day I’m go­ing to make you a ham­burg­er for din­ner, but in­stead of meat, it’s go­ing to have one of those mush­rooms in it.
Lit­tle boy look­ing back at mush­room, ter­ri­fied: Why would you do that?!

–Beach­side Pro­duce Plus, Mel­bourne Beach, Flori­da